Alfaaz

17.amaya

Teri kasm tujhe itna toot kar chaha ki abh kisi aur ko chahne ki chahat hi nahi hain.....

Silence

All amaya wanted was silence. It's making hard for her to stay sane with nabhan's family in her room.

The person who is the reason of each and every wound, injury and hurt with pain had a sweet family that no one could say that nabhan is thier family member.

Everyone were different from faces but nabhan was copy of his father. Same nose, same eyes, hairs, movement even expression too were just same.

Amaya took a deep breath looking in front of her where her each cousin was seated.

On left was baba who was busy in his phone. I wish nabhan to my side listening to what I am speak and we both giggle.

"Maya kya hua mere bache....." Tayijaan neared me with so much concern that I want to complain about her son.

Taking deep breath I shook my face wiping the tears which escaped. She kissed my forehead and held my face to her chest. I smelled her which was a mix of vanilla and orange.

We all glanced up to see ammi walking with a tray of food. I sighed and stared her whose face was all lightened up. She was the happiest person on my return.

I sat straight when ammi kept the tray on a bedtable on glancing the plate had some roti and some fried eggs.

"You both have breakfast I will go and see where this faarid is.. 'Saying this tayijaan walked out mumbling curses on her son.everyone walked out slowly.

I glnaced ammi who was preparing a morsal I open my mouth but she had the morsal. I pout and tried to make one for myself but regretted when pain shot up in my arms. I cried in pain shutting my eyes ammi came to my side chant sorry I smiled and nodded.

"Amaya how are you bache?"ammi asked feeding me. I nodded.

"You look more beautiful than last time as if some noor over your face, you have grown healthier,eyes always shining when deep in thought. Bache I just want to know as a mother I am scared of certain things."

"Ammi there is nothing like you are thinking, I was in good hands who took my care as if I am their family member and when it was time I came here." Ainam told in racy voice.

"What about the gun, even police is confused about how such a rare gun bullet and something." 

"Ammi! Tension is bad don't go there I am fine and what's more than that I am here with you people. Do you have-"

"No! You are our daughter I was just concerned that's it. Come let's eat than I have to cook something for you. I missed you so much even my hand made biryani also for you."

I nodded chuckling as she laughed feeding me it started raining with tayijaan yelling at someone. Maybe her sons.

"Farid is so handful like faris if these two are like this than I can't even imagine how the elder son nabhan is" I glanced her,my food not being gulped remembering him suddenly his face appeared with a smirk and glare of his. I blinked my tears looking away.

"Ammi did the elder anytime visit here?"I asked when it strike my mind that if he naver came than how ammi knows his name.

"Yes, he did when tayijaan came I guess after two three days after your tayijaan came." Tears welled in my eyes knowing that he came here for me. I said him but he refused me that time little did I knew that he came here.

"You take rest while I will see what's going on down okay rest and don't think about anything." I nodded chewing my inner chin.

"Ammi switch off the lights."In second lights were off while I stared at the moon which was beautiful yet far from me.

"I guess even I am along these people who admire you from far. Nabhan you told me to wait and I will. I now relised how much you are precious to me."  I sobbed on his name.

I kept head on pillow staring the moon and turned to side having a focus on the moon.

"Ya Allah sabr dein malik...." I shut my letting those tears to fall freely silently sobbing over my love for him.

How helpless it is when you love someone but he dares to kill you. How lucky I would be if the bullet had pierced my heart. I would sleep peacefully knowing that I died with hands of my love. My love would me the culprit of my death

Why? Why I feared and didn't said him when I can knowing his huge problem of temper.

I got what I wanted silence taking few breaths I stood and walked to my walk in closet.

All clothes were as it was with more clothes kept. I walked there to see some of gents clothes.

A frowned appeared I never wear jeans and western clothes as we have male in home.

I walked to the last part of closet which had clothes like jeans, shirts, some sandos sweatshirts, two suits and kurta salwar lastly there were some blazers.

"Who came in my room?" I walked to the door but stoppes remembering those shirts.

"Oh nabhan!" I cried slapping my head. It's him who kept all these here. There are shirts and sweatshirts which I bought for him.

I stared those all, nabhan why you did these? You would have let me speak before taking a decision how can you not trust your wife nabhan.

How can I believe that you are not near me,with me. You just came in my life. I miss you so much that my breath halts to death.

How will I survive without you when I can't even imagine a hour without you.

"Lagta hain mera ishq joh do tarfa tha woh ek tarfa hi hogaya hain nabhan. No one is here with me this room is not mine but your are. Allah tumhe duniya ki saari khushiyaan dein nabhan par mein zinda nahi reh sakti tumahre bina yeh judai humare hisse mein kyu aani thi nabhan meri ek baar sunlete tum. Mein har gayi tumhe apna na rakh saki. Tumne mujhe yaha akela kardiya hain nabhan. Please ek baar meri sunlo phir your decision will be obeyed. I cried sitting in the corner not liking this feeling of being alone and hurt.

It was as if he was in front me staring at me with hate and anger. I never wanted him to behave this way with me. I wish I said him about myself.

To be continue......