Deadly

Chapter 37

“Um…”

Darn it, what should I say? What am I supposed to say? I like him a bit more than just friends, but I don’t want to freaking date the guy! But how do you tell a guy that? Oh, wait. You don’t, unless you want to look like a complete player! So then what am I supposed to tell him? ‘Zack, I like you as definitely more that just a friend, but I don’t exactly like the idea of dating you, but don’t take it personally! It’s just that I don’t have feelings for you. I mean, I like you as more than a friend, but it’s like I don’t have enough feelings for you as a boyfriend or something like that. And I’m really sorry that I have to tell you this, but I just can’t try to like someone that I don’t have many feelings for. I also won’t turn on you like I did on Daemon, but he was cheating on me. I am really sorry, but I just want us to be friends with benefits.’ No, you do not tell a guy that! You most certainly do not tell a guy that!

“Jayde?”

“Oh, yes?”

“You zoned out a bit there.” Zack told me smiling gently.

“Sorry, I just have lots on my mind.” I apologised.

“It’s fine, I have lots on my mind too.” He admitted.

“Really? Like what?” I asked, curiosity growing inside of me.

“Um… I think it’s better if you promise not to kill me first.”

“I’m not promising anything until you tell me the reason why I would want to kill you.”

“Can you try not to kill me?”

“Just tell me!” I half-yelled at him.

“Okay, fine! I was sort of thinking about you in the top.” He muttered looking down at the floor. A long silence followed, him watching me carefully, while I stared at him.

“Well, I’m not dead yet.” He evaluated sheepishly. That was right before my hand was introduced to his head.

“Ow! What was that for?” Zack complained.

“You said that I should try not to kill you, but you didn’t say I couldn’t slap you over the head.” I snapped.

“True, but you are very strong.” Zack winced rubbing the back of his head.

“Do you have any other thoughts you need to share with me?” I asked, the temperature dropping ever so slightly.

“Ah… No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Um… there’s actually one thing I want to say, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings or anything.”

“Okay… What is it?”

“Promise you won’t feel like this is your fault or anything?”

“Sure, but curiosity is killing me, so can you just tell me now?”

“Yes. Um…Jayde?”

“If you are trying to propose then the answer is hell no!”

“No, I’m not proposing! I just want to find the right way to say it!”

“Holy freaking cow! You are proposing!”

“No! I’m not proposing!”

“Well, just say what you need to say!”

“Fine. Jayde, I like you as definitely more that just a friend, but I don’t exactly like the idea of dating you, but don’t take it personally! It’s just that I don’t have feelings for you. I mean, I like you as more than a friend, but it’s like I don’t have enough feelings for you as a girlfriend or something like that. And I’m really sorry that I have to tell you this, but I just can’t try to like someone that I don’t have many feelings for. I also don’t want you to turn on me like you did on Daemon, but he was cheating on you. I am really sorry, but I just want us to be friends with benefits.” Zack stopped, taking deep breaths.

“You what?” I asked quietly, my voice filled with disbelief.

“I’m really sorry about this. Do you want me to go?” Zack asked.

“No! Stay, I just can’t believe this!” I said, almost happily.

“Wait, are you actually happy? Why are you happy?”

“Zack, when I zoned out a few minutes ago, I was thinking of how I was going to tell you that I didn’t like you in that way, and that I wanted to be friends with benefits. The problem was that I was scared that you would think badly of me. Now I don’t have to worry, because you feel that exact same way as me!”

“So you’re okay with being in a sort of open relationship?”

“Yes! I mean, it’s sad that we don’t have any feelings for each other, but we feel the same way, so we can understand each other.”

“Oh my gosh, okay. I thought that you would be really mad, or hurt. This is still weird though.”

“You don’t say. We’re supposed to feel really bad about this, but all I feel right now is relief. How twisted is that?”

“Very twisted, but I feel the same.”

“Yeah… Weird.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Right…”

“You want to make out then?” He asked.

“Okay.”

And that’s how we sort of spent the next hour.