15 What Ifs [COMPLETED]

ELEVENTH WHAT IF

ELEVENTH WHAT IF

"What if dahan-dahan ka nang pakakawalan ng takot na matagal mo nang dinadala?"

~ Anonymous

~~~

ERIC'S POV

It has been a month since Dax entered our household, legally that is. It has been a full month ever since Mom requested him to be my friend—not requested, exactly. More like paid him to be my friend. It has been a month since that guy decided to barge in—legally—and annoy the hell out of me.

Though it has finally been more or less two weeks since he admitted his crime and asked for a real friendship this time. And honestly, I did not expect him to say those words before.

"Kaya kung ayos lang, o kahit hindi, ako si Dax Allen Acenas, at gusto sana kitang maging kaibigan. 'Yung totoo na at hindi dahil sa binayaran at inutusan ako ng mama mo. Ako si Dax Allen Acenas at gusto ko sanang maging kaibigan mo ako nang matagal hanggang sa tuluyan mo nang mahalin ang sarili mo."

I could not help but shake my head to try and remove that memory. I did not know why but those words affected me. I know it had a huge impact on my life. I may not have changed that much when it comes to interacting with that annoying guy, but I know that his words were the reason why I agreed to be friends with him.

Because for months, I have been craving a friend. For someone who would see me beyond my nasty facade. For someone who would understand me and my pain. But also for someone who wouldn't pity me.

And for some weird unknown reasons, I... I began to be more comfortable around him. I don't know why but I swear, I can feel myself softening whenever that guy smiles or laughs. And I don't have any idea how to control it.

Or maybe it's just because we're friends. Yeah. We're friends, that's why.

I was currently in the living room, looking at the cloudy, calming weather through the huge window when it started to darken. My forehead automatically creased. I don't like where this is going.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed in the sky and a loud thunder crashed. I automatically let go of the mug I was holding, closed my eyes, and covered my ears. Heavy rain then followed and I couldn't help but tremble. Slides after slides of memories of the accident entered my mind.

D-Dad. I-I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry. Those were the only words that left my mouth again and again as I stayed in that position. I-I won't be happy. I-I promise. I felt so cold, scared, and alone, with every passing second.

I was close to passing out when I suddenly heard footsteps as if the person was running. It got louder and louder until it stopped... in front of me. I could hear the person's ragged breathing and then... I heard his voice.

"N-Nandito lang ako, Eric. Magiging maayos lang din ang lahat. Nandito lang ako. Pwede ka nang pakonti-konting kumalma." His voice was sort of doing something in me. It's making me somehow calm down. "Okat lang matakot, basta nandito lang ako. Hindi ka mag-isa." His words were even helping a lot, I don't know why.

I continue to tremble but it somehow lessens, until I heard another thunder, making me shut my head and cover my ears harder. I jumped a bit when I felt a hand, slowly touching and caressing each of my hands. Both of the thumbs were drawing circles on the back of my hands.

"It's okay... It's okay... Nandito lang ako. Hindi ka na nag-iisa, Eric. Nandito lang ako. Hindi kita iiwan," a soft and calm voice said. "Breathe in, breathe out, Eric. Breathe in, breathe out." His hands were still doing the same. "Kapag kaya mo na, subukan mong idilat ang mga mata mo, tapos ako lang ang tingnan mo," he added.