15-Guarded

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For as long as I live; I vow to never say his name, ever again. He will forever be a nameless Alpha. If that is how he wishes it to be, I shall give him exactly what he wants.

Make no mistake; This decision is far from being out of obedience or respect to him. It is rather out of spite and bitterness for everything he's done to me so far.

When we were at the pond, he asked me, practically begged me, to say his name.

Perhaps me saying it today resulted in some sort of unwelcome pleasure that made him mad at his own lost of control. Therefore, I shall never, ever grant him that pleasure again. Even if he pleads.

He had left the bathroom in silence without even looking at me.

I was back in the closet. Crouching down, wet, practically deaf and somewhat heartbroken. Picking up shards of glass. Maybe this was the alpha's slave's job. Since I live in these quarters now. I clean them.

"What are you doing?" a snarly, feminine voice I recognized asked behind me and I turned around.

My eyes locked on the bitch maid who seemed to love barking at slaves.

What does it look like I'm doing?

"Cleaning.." I simply said, slightly confused at her presence in here to begin with.

"The alpha called for us to clean this mess, get out!" she commanded and I frowned.

Huh?...

I stood up silently and looked behind her to realize there were two more maids and three slave girls holding mops and supplies.

Why did he call for them when I was clearly the slave of this place?

The fact that I had opened my hand jamming it into a shard of glass that one time I bumped into him came back and made me think he didn't want that happening again. Or perhaps he didn't want me ruffling through the diamonds and rubies on the ground.

Who the fuck did these belong to? Since he had mistresses, I gathered he was single...

Maybe he wasn't..

Surprisingly, that thought didn't do much to me, but the thought of Killian with Scarlet still enraged me for some unknown reason. Even if he doesn't really seem to care about her that much. Maybe Julia was right, maybe he was just being courteous.

So he's civil with the woman he doesn't care about but cruel and terrible to me, the one he keeps saying he wants to fuck. That's incredibly confusing.

I slowly walked out feeling a little out of place since fellow slave girls were working and I was just...doing nothing. I moved back to the bathroom and started mopping the wet floor to occupy myself.

My own numbness was scaring me. I went through an attempt on my life fifteen minutes ago. Emotional trauma and a physical assault for that matter. Yet I was mopping with a straight face as if nothing happened.

Was I losing part of my humanity and self-esteem? Was becoming numb?

No...

I wasn't. I told him to go fuck himself and then cried. I still had all of my emotional responses.

I was just tired. He drained me. And strangely calm from his comfort earlier...

They all cleaned and mopped and I do believe someone was going to come rebuild the counter another day since there was a piece of broken Marble Island cemented to the tiles in the middle of the closet.

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