January 26th, 2022
Multiple rough drafts at what to say and how to reply to him after not speaking for a week- post breakup from our labeled, real relationship.
does this feel even remotely the same to you as it does to me?
why haven't you called to make sure I'm okay? He always did, every time he called it off.
please tell me you're hurting at least a little by not speaking to each other
I can't act like the last year didn't happen, the last 6 months, we spent every day together
we spent every day together for the past 6 months building a life together and you erased every trace of me in two days, how are you acting like we didn't have what we did.
why haven't you reached out to me
why won't you speak to me, we spent every single day for the last 7 months building a life together
how can you tell me you love me and not care if I'm okay
we built this life together, everything you said and did, all of the unconditional love we
showed each other, how can you act like it didn't exist, I'm hurting so bad
how can you treat me so differently so easily
it kills me how you always act the same when you end things with me, like our relationship didn't exist and you didn't do or say any of the things you did. How you start posting on your story and Instagram so frequently of what you're doing and random songs, you never do that when we're seeing each other but it's like you want me to hurt.
how can you treat me like this, like our relationship never happened I know you have the same memories I do
everything you said to me and did for me, the life we built together, why haven't you made sure I'm okay
I don't want to be afraid to text you, I can't act like we didn't build a life together, why aren't we talking? I know you have the same memories I do.
Every time this happens you always shut me out and never listen to me, but when we're together you listen to me and hear me, you give me advice and understand when I'm hurting, and we talk everything through? I know you understand where I'm coming from because you've been so genuine and compassionate to me our entire relationship and that shouldn't change. Please talk to me and hear what I have to say.
I can't not speak to you or be afraid to text you as if you didn't spend months and months building a life with me and genuinely loving me
this isn't easy for me-
I should be able to talk to you about this, after the life we built together for so long we shouldn't be strangers
Ending things one random night and pretending like I never existed is not fair to me, you don't understand what that does to my brain, there's absolutely no closure in that, in going from all to nothing. how can you act like you didn't do all of the things you did, we have the same memories. You talked about a future with me, you expressed so much love, you were my baby. I hate that I can't even talk to someone who was on my chest a few days ago, just Tuesday night you were planning our trip and talking about playing putt putt soon. why can't we speak to each other?
I miss when you would send me songs to listen to instead of posting them on Instagram.
hey
how are you?
do you think we could talk?
You said you couldn't live with yourself if someone did this to Sadie. So understand where I'm coming from when I'm asking you to just listen to me if you plan on pretending I don't exist after tonight. you don't have to rush off I don't have plans.
It's been so hard to not send you funny things on Instagram. I watched all of the videos you sent me last week, I laughed so hard at the shrek one water came out of my nose. I have like a dozen videos saved from this week that I know only you will laugh as hard at as me.
I don't hate you. I could never ever hate you. I'm not trying to beg you or argue with you. The way you treat me so differently every time this happens breaks my heart. I just don't understand why you have to shut me out like I'm not a person, or my feelings don't matter when, whenever we're together you would never hurt me like this.
He dropped off my things- we reconciled some differences but I was grasping at straws.
YOU ARE READING
To: L
Non-FictionI never sent these, and won't- but what if they made their way to you somehow I wouldn't mind it. This is a compilation of texts and letters that live in my notes app, all addressed to a boy who's filled me with so much emotion and anguish that I've...
