May 23rd, 2022
Adversely, I created a Note entitled "DO NOT SEND" for a space to put messages I knew I would regret sending almost immediately after- and as a safe place to express my real thoughts and emotions without jeopardizing my relationship with L.
As I said before, he ended things around this time but not all of these were written on the same day.
Hey, I'm sorry I texted or called too often yesterday I didn't mean to annoy or upset you, but instead of leaving me on read can you just tell me I'm being annoying or that you don't want to talk to me, or if I'm not any of those things that you're at least busy, it's just this is so weird and difficult right now for me.
This is still new and still hard and I really just wanted to tell you something funny that happened. I'm sorry my adjustment to not talking all the time isn't going very well, but it hasn't even been a week, give me some time.
As easy as it is when we're together to pretend we weren't close, it can be really hard when we're apart. It's not easy for me like it is for you and I'm sorry. I'm still in the habit of wanting to text and call all the time and I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to push you away and I know you need space but please-
I want this to be the last text that I send you for the sake of not being annoying and not pushing you away, but can you please call me before you go out on the boat today or let me know if you can after.
Can you please call me before you go out today, I'm asking you as your friend, I really don't want to overthink myself into texting you everything on my mind and end up being annoying and pushing you away, it's embarrassing enough to even text this, and I could be doing that with just this.
My heart hurts for the girl that I was in this moment.
YOU ARE READING
To: L
Non-FictionI never sent these, and won't- but what if they made their way to you somehow I wouldn't mind it. This is a compilation of texts and letters that live in my notes app, all addressed to a boy who's filled me with so much emotion and anguish that I've...
