Wicked boy

chapter 29

I have no strength, no energy to clean up the mess. But Hermione would come back eventually and didn't want her to ask questions. So I did what I could with my magic, and my personal stuff just went under my bed so I can deal with it later. 

Last night was emotionally rough. When I finally touch my bed, my body ache from the pain. The pain he had caused with his hand, all over my body. I had bruises around my neck. Down my back too, I felt them in the shower. And I could still feel him, his perfume, the smell of alcohol. 

And my head was so confused. What I felt was conflicting, it's like there were things I refuse to see. He is such a twisted and wicked character yet I can't seem to want to get away from him. It's like I'm tempted to see him every day.

I'm tempted to see what he'll do everytime.

What he'll do to me.

And it'll kill me someday. He will. 

He seems to have this rage in him against me that I can't comprehend. A boiling wrath that waits the right time to explode. 

Still, I don't understand how i'm in some sort related to him. Related to his rage; He acts with me as if i done something to him. And he waited his entire life, planning a revenge. A revenge against me.

This feeling of being in the middle of something big, something that everyone know is coming, but i'm the only one that doesn't see it. I can't bring myself to see, to understand, how am I attached to him. 

But I wouldn't want to presume anything that emerge from this freak. There is much more important right now than him. I'm sure he needs to externalize his rage, and I'm the one who was there. 

A weak person that he can use. That he can hurt, over and over to feel something.

And he found my weak spot. My parents. He did succeed in hurting me because it's been weeks since I can't get my parents' death out of my mind.

I am so mad at myself for letting him hurt me this way. He brought back memories. Some that didn't want to be brought back and some I was just trying to not think about it. My parents are dead. He made me realize I haven't morn them properly. 

I just didn't. I always made myself believe that they were still alive, and I could see them whenever I wanted to. I just choose not to. It was my choice not to see them.

I convince myself that if they weren't with me it's because they were at work, or I was at school or at Hermione's. But my mom and dad were at home. Waiting for me.

Yet, they're not. And I'll never see them again.

There's a knock on the door and I see Onyx and Hermione step in the room.

- Sorry did we wake you ? Onyx whispered to me, trying to gently close the door.

- No, I couldn't sleep, it was 5 o'clock, it's been a few hours since Mattheo left. They would be terrified and angry is they knew how the room was earlier. How was the rest of the party ?

Hermione came to sit beside me, and Onyx laid on the other bed, 

- Quite nice, I mean, really it was good and nice, I looked Hermione with a suspect eye, I assure you, you really miss the night of the year. Wow, super cool.

She was nervous. There was something more, I mean she was looking down and Onyx didn't say a thing.

- Ok, what did I miss, really what happen, I want to know the gossip !