Roman

09

♡ Roman ♡

Currently I'm sitting in Remy's office and he's just sitting at the desk. Not saying anything, not even looking at me, he's just pushing some papers around and writing some shit.

"So should I just go...?" I said awkwardly not understanding his thought process here.

He raised his head to look at me, his eyes burning with rage as he scoffed.

"You know I just don't understand, I don't fucking understand you. I take guardianship of you, bring you into our home and try, fucking try to get through to you but all you do is sit there dismissing everyone and everything just being in your own world with you're headphones. It's fucking exhausting, everyone's trying so hard to get through to you and nothing works. Now this shit, smoking weed at school. I get it ok, you disappearing and heading to New York was tough for you but everyone here fucking broke after. It's time to get over any shit that happened. I'm sure the toy you didn't get for you're seventh birthday was you're biggest problem but you need to grow the fuck up. I'm done with you're shit. I tried to give you time and settle in but it's too difficult and I'm done trying for you." He yelled as venom dripped from his tongue. As soon as he finished his rant he stilled and a deafening silence surrounded the room.

I can't believe he would say that, he knows nothing about me. How could he. He'll never know what I went through and I sure as hell won't ever tell him.

Suddenly I was back with Sir when he'd get angry and take it out on me, spewing nonsense at every lash to my back and burn to my skin. Maybe he's right, there's no point trying to help someone who doesn't want to live. Who's a shell of a person and will never be able to give anyone else what they want; love, emotions, familiarity, normality, smiles. Things that I will never be able to give.

He's right. I'm not worth it.

"Ok" I said trying to contain my shaking hands and the memories coursing through my veins, begging to resurface in my mind. Sir liked simple answers so that's what Remy will get as well.

His eyes that had shifted down hanging his head had shot up at my response, or lack there of. His face visibly paled and guilt took place for the venom that was previously there. He stood up and went to round his desk, walking towards me trying to reach for my hands.

I quickly stood up from the chair and backed up refusing to be in the grasp of a venomous man again who would only hurt me.

"I understand everything you said, I'll just go now" I said blankly, my legs burning to run from the room not wanting to be near him.

He opened his mouth to protest and took another step towards me but I quickly backed towards the door, twisted the knob and stepped out into the empty penthouse.

I quickly ran to my room.

I needed to get out of here. It's fine, they don't want me here, then I don't want to be here. I locked my door and grabbed my backpack. Emptying it out onto the floor I scrambled to my closet and bathroom and grabbed everything I needed that would fit.

My heartbeat felt erratic and my mind woozy from the familiar feeling of being trapped. After I grabbed everything I needed I tried to calm down and opened my door, peeking my head out. No one was in the hall and I couldn't hear people walking around so I quietly left my room. My thumping heartbeat filling the haunting silence.