Roman

19

♡ Roman ♡

Ok so I admit that these past few days have been totally weird all because of me but coming out of a panic attack laying on top of someone I haven't really met yet and them telling me their the twins friend freaked me out.

Sir and uncles friends were mean, fucking terrible waste of space human beings that took pleasure in degradation. Friends, the word always creeps me out because at first even though I knew I shouldn't have, I hoped that their friends would help me. After all that's usually what children hope for when a new person arrives to a horrible situation.

I hoped and hoped that they would look at Sir and Darrell flabbergasted by their actions, that they would help me. That they would care. But in the end I realized that no one really cares.

I realized that it's really fucking hard to breathe through a gag when someone's weight is on top of you and I realized that sadistic people take pleasure in unease, which I always felt.

And the really fucked up part was that Sir made everything seem normal. The beatings, the experiments, the starving, the drownings, the killings and the using. Everything I grew up knowing was because he taught me it. He taught me what was right and wrong and by him doing that he inevitably fucked up my mind. And he took pleasure in that fact.

So of course when Augustus introduced himself as the twins friend, I definitely started to go into yet another panic attack. But oddly enough it was as if he noticed that and started randomly talking about his little brother, Alexandre.

I'm not sure if he knew what he was doing when he laid me kind of on top of him, but I do know that he managed to bring me out of a panic attack that always ends up with me falling unconscious.

But of course my mind started turning once again. I can only imagine how I made Cyrille feel, I rejected his comfort, I made him panic. I never wanted to make him feel like that and now all I can imagine is him absolutely hating me for dismissing him and finding comfort in someone who is not my brother. Oh god, I must have made everyone feel like that.

A laugh escaped my lips as Augustus described one time when he found Alexandre and their families dog running around in the backyard literally doused in mud.

His face lit up from my laugh and he stilled for a second just staring at me. I stopped immediately, I don't really ever laugh, I wasn't allowed to. So of course I never heard other ones which led to mine not really being a laugh but just a smile.

"Shit I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just that you're uh... you're really beautiful" he said softly.

What?

I'm really beautiful.

My cheeks heated as a small blush spread across my face, I looked down trying to avoid his eyesight as I squeezed my hands trying to keep myself grounded.

"Oh.. uhm it's ok" I stammered after I cleared my throat.

What the fuck? Why am I so awkward.

I heard a chuckle from afar and the sound of ruffling. I suddenly felt a warm tingle on the bottom of my chin as my eyes followed a veiny arm leading up to a face. Augustus's face. My eyes widened at our position, him tilting my chin up so I would look at him standing right in front of me.

We gazed at each other for a second before shuffling was heard coming down one of the hallways. I moved my eyes from his and looked toward the hallway as I heard a low strained groan come from Augustus's lips.

Soon the twins and Cyrille entered the room, all of their eyebrows shooting to the top of their forehead. Augustus still had two fingers underneath my chin and was towering in front of my sitting form on the couch.