since I met him

20

jungkook's pov

What the fuck am I looking at right now? I'll tell ya.

Lisa is sucking Ashton Hale's mouth right in front of me, and I want to grab his face and smack it onto the concrete multiple times until his face is so bloody you can't even recognize him anymore.

Sure, he was the one who invited us and I was the one who invited her, but... what the actual fuck?

We left the girls for, what? Fifteen minutes? And she has found her way to almost fucking the guy right in front of everyone. Fucking disgusting.

As soon as I see them I start rushing towards them pushing away anyone who was in my way, until Jimin grabbed my arm,

— What the fuck do you think you're doing? — he yelled through the music.

— Did you not see what I just saw?!

— Lisa and Ashton? Yeah, I saw, what about it?

— What the fuck do you mean "what about it", are you fucking insane??!!

I honestly don't know why I am so triggered either.
Maybe it was seeing Ashley before. Ashley is Ashton's sister, we dated for around 2 years when we were 15 and it was like nothing I had ever experienced.

She was my first love, and she broke my fucking heart. Since then I haven't really had anything with anyone, besides sex.

She was my first time in most of everything. First time I smoked was with her; first time I kissed; first time I got my dick sucked; first time I had sex. It was all her.

I never really got over her, even after everything she did to me. I was going through a lot at the time.

I became an orphan when I was 3, my biological parents died in a fire apparently. I don't really remember anything about them, just that they were asian and that they were involved with the wrong crowd. And from what I know all my other family members were either dead or didn't want me.

I went to my first foster home that same year, with an old couple who weren't the nicest people, not him at least, but then he died from an overdose so the she couldn't keep me anymore. She said it was nothing personal, besides, she had Alzheimers. I'm pretty sure she died months after I left.

I went to my second foster home when I was 6, with a very rich 24 year old pedo college student who had a lot of money so she decided to get a toy. Didn't last very long. Less than 4 months later she decided she didn't need me nor wanted me anymore.

I went to my third foster home when I was 6, with a nice couple of early 30's. I stayed with them for 3 years. They were really cool, and they had another child, his name was Cooper and he was my first friend, but then Mr. Adams lost his job, and so they couldn't keep me anymore, so I left, again.

I went to my fourth foster home when I was 9, with the Summers. They took me in as one of their own and I felt like I had a family for the first time. Dylan was my second friend ever and we were really close, up until sophomore year, when I met Jimin and he met Taehyung. The Summers finally made me feel at home for once, they even asked if I wanted to change my last name. And I accepted.

I told Ashley all of this, and she told me a lot of herself too, but not even that kind of love kept her from hurting me even more than what I went through for all those years in foster care.

She was my first love, and I believe she will also be my last. I wished for love for half of my life and now I can say I have experienced love, and it's overrated. I don't intend to do it ever again.