It's Only a Matter of Time

Chapter 33

Funerals and Crying

Peggy's

(A/N: You should read my good friend Imma_Pineapple72's book. Just do it)

"Come on! We have to go to Alexander's. He has something to tell us!" I screamed at my sisters.

It was a Monday so we had school. Aaron didn't show up. I asked Mr. Franklin why and he told me that Aaron had some personal business or something.

Eliza hopped on one foot while pulling on a shoe. Angie was putting her hair in a bun. We hopped onto our bikes and rode to Alexander's place. We said hello to Judy and hurried to his room.

"Open up, Alex!" I screeched.

He opened the door and let us in. The rest of the squad was lounging around his room. Even Aaron was there.

"What's up?" I asked. It didn't go over well. Aaron burst into tears, Herc gave Lafayette a hug, John lowered his head, and Alexander frowned at me. "Um...what did I do wrong?" I wondered.

"You don't know?" Alexander put a hand on my shoulder.

"Know what?" Eliza looked around, bewildered.

"Just tell them," Aaron stuttered through his tears.

"Um...on Sunday...Theodosia...died. She's gone. I'm sorry," Alexander told us.

"You're kidding," I cried as I looked at everyone's faces, "No! You're wrong. She couldn't have died. She's Theodosia!"

Aaron let out a sob and John went to comfort him. They're serious. I looked at my sisters. They had tears running down their faces.

I crumpled to the ground and cried. No more of her amazing cookies or the way she could always make me laugh.

"How?" Angie broke the silence.

"Une voiture," Laf told us.

"A car, " Alexander translated.

"Oh."

We sat down next to Laf and Hercules who were sitting on Alexander's bed. I laid my head on Herc's shoulder.

Why? Whywhywhywhywhy? Why does the world do this to me? It's so unfair!

Time skip

Aaron's

No. I'm not ready for this. I don't want to say goodbye. I can't say goodbye. I can never say goodbye. Why'd she have to go this way? Why so young? The only thing pulsing through my mind was 'why me?'

We were all gathered in her house. It will always be Theodosia's house. No matter what anybody says. I was sitting at the kitchen table, staring forlornly out of the window at the drizzling rain.

"Aaron. Are you ready?" Alexander came over to me. He was dressed in a black button up shirt, black pants, and black dress shoes. He was there for moral support. His whole friend group was there. They all loved Theodosia. But I loved her most.

I looked down at my outfit. I was wearing a dark blue suit and black dress shoes. I want to look my best for Theodosia. Even if she isn't here, I know she can see me. I know she's somewhere having fun, making new friends, and chatting. I know she's happy.

I stood up and went to the car. There were a couple. We used Ann's minivan. All five of her siblings went into another car so it was just me and The Crazy Sins. It was the quietest ride with them ever.

We drove to the New York City Marble Cemetery. I saw a group of people sitting in a semicircle. The Crazy Sins and I stepped out of the car. I took a deep breath and walked towards the funeral. Lafayette was walking right next to me. He grabbed my hand and then Herc's. It continued like that. Soon we were one long line of friends holding hands.

I sat down in one of the chairs near the front reserved for immediate family. I counted. I was her boyfriend. Ann sat down right next to me. I gave her a sad smile. There was classical music coming from somewhere.

I saw flowers everywhere. They were all lavender. She loved lavender. It was her favorite scent. The kitchen table always had lavender on it. Everyone had arrived and I stepped to the front and began speaking.

"Theodosia was..." I looked at the crowd. I heard a bark and looked around, "Theo? Theo!" Theo heard my voice and broke free of her handler. She ran to me and I knelt down. Theo licked the tears off of my face. I picked her up and continued with my speech, "Theodosia was the most amazing person I've ever known. She could light up any room with her wit and beauty. My world...it'll never be the same. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you," I wasn't talking to the crowd anymore. I was talking to Theodosia, "Please forgive me."

I sat down and it was Lafayette's turn. He was holding a crumpled piece of paper. "Théodosie était incroyable. Elle s'est toujours moquée de moi et d'Herc mais-" He garbled on in French. It was funny. I don't think he knew he was speaking French. I smiled a bit.

Then it was Martha's turn. She told us a story about how Theodosia could always cheer her up. It went on like that. It all turned into a haze. I can't do this. I lowered my head and stifled my sobs. I need her.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there. I did not die," I whispered. It was the poem that she loved.

They lowered her into the hole. It was a ornate jar that held her ashes. I stepped up and shoveled a bit of dirt into the hole. Everyone pitched in. She was so kind to everyone she met. She made my life worthwhile. I miss her more than anything else in this world. I would've gladly traded my life for hers.

"J'ai oublié l'anglais," I heard Lafayette tell Alexander. I laughed. My laugh sounded hollow and dead. Lafayette said he forgot English.

I stayed after everyone had left. I sat by her grave and talked. I talked about how I missed her and how my life had been changed because of her.

"Aaron. We have to go," Eliza had come up behind me. I turned to face her. She had concern in her eyes. She helped me up and we walked to the car.