You Told Me Think About It (Pierce The Veil & Of Mice & Men Fanfic) SEQUEL!

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ellie’s POV

Well that’s everything. All my belongings I don’t need anytime soon packed away in to the back of a truck. All those memoires I wish that now won’t make me cry. All was left was a backpack full of clothes and that. They didn’t mean anything to me. This house, this house that was once a warm home, is now a place of lies and deceit. If the world hates me, then I understand. All of this is my fault. Unfortunately everything that has happened to me has made me weaker, not stronger like they say. Now I can’t even control my emotions; in a single second I could be on the floor, tears flowing freely down my face. But somehow, after hurting everyone around me, I have two people that I can call friends. They are hopefully going to help me; help me get over this, help me to sort out my God damned life.

If this is the way of life, I don’t like it. I prefer the times when I was sitting on my balcony, Jaime’s arms wrapped around my body, both of us in silence just waiting for the sun to go down. Those moments I now know I can never ever get back. Unless God decides he is done torturing me and makes everything alright. But who am I kidding; nothing can ever even begin to repair. Sorry is not enough. Nothing I can do will help me go back in time.

Nothing is ever enough is it? Everything we ever do, we always want more. We always need to change something with what we have done. If I could go back and erase everything from my life, I would be in a much better place than here. If Vic never saw me lying on the street beaten to a pulp, then I wouldn’t even know Jaime. He would have been better off without me walking in to his life. If only.

We always use ‘what ifs’ in our lives. What if I didn’t do that? What if I never bought that? What if I never even went to that place? What if? My life is a big what if! All I do is question my own existence, only to loop back to the ‘what ifs’. In the end, I figure out I was either a mistake to be brought in to my hell of a life, or I was only brought in to be playing with like a rag doll. I can’t even think straight. All my life to me is a failure. Yes I’m in a successful band but I go and do something to ruin it. I mess up everything that I like and are happy with. Story of my life.

To sum everything up, I am a huge failure. I don’t have a proper home; I cheated on my boyfriend, who wanted to marry me! Now I have to live in another friend’s flat, they are only people who probably even care in the slightest right now what happens to me. I don’t think I can live like this. I can’t take the pain anymore. I need help but that help is somewhere I can’t find, somewhere hidden.

~I'm sorry i haven't uploaded anything recently. I have finally manage a whole week on restricted timetable since July. So i havent been able to wirte much and then theres the homework. HAlf term is filled with homework nowadays. But still this is a different kind of chapter. I know its short and bad but i just had to upload something after you guys are being soo awesome with the voting and commenting! Keep it up please! Also please read my Fearless Vampire Killer Fanfic, even if you don't like them, i just want to know if its any good. There isnt much but there will be. Trust me!

Natty out~