Quotidian/ kwo •tid•e•in
- daily
Soren Wells nurse, part-time stripper. She meets the owner of the club she works at and feels an immediate sense of attraction. What happens when she acts on that sense of attraction and gets herself tangled in thing...
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October 4th Wednesday Houston Texas
It had been a few days since Jason's surgery. Unfortunately I had barely been able to visit him because of work but on my breaks I'd go sit with him. I never talked though. I never know what to say.
I was kind of on my own. Alani was busy comforting Ty'jere. Briella was burying herself under work. Always asking me if there was a patient that needed help or charting that needs to be done. And of course there's always something to do so I just let her. But when I brung it up she would just brush me off.
I laid my head back on the couch in the break room. I pulled out my phone to FaceTime my mom. She answered on the second ring. "Hey mom." I said quietly.
"Hi baby what's wrong?" She asked.
I sighed before talking. "I don't know." I lied
She narrowed her eyes at me. "Have you said anything to him yet?"
I shook my head. She sighed shaking her head at me. "I just don't know what to say mom. I haven't even held his hand." I told her.
She shook her head again. "No that's not what it is. You're just scared. You told me you felt guilty which you shouldn't. Nothing that happened is your fault." She said. Just as I was about to say why I felt guilty she shut me up.
"This is not your fault. You have to remember that no matter what. You are simply scared." She sternly spoke. I nodded my head.
"What are you so scared of? What's the worst possibility that comes to your head?" She asked me. Of course I immediately knew the answer.
"That he will blame me. What if they all secretly blame me for what's happening. And I don't want to seem like I'm making it about me because I'm not trying too. I just want to be able to talk him without feeling guilty." I said playing with the corner of my case. The sound of it clicking on and off of the phone soothing my nerves a bit.
"I definitely don't think you are making it about you. You are allowed to worry about you. Making it about you would be different. But you're saying the worst case scenario is him blaming you. But has he every blamed you for anything?" She asked.
I thought back to the past months we've spent time together. "No he hasn't."
"Okay then so what's the big worry? If you know he doesn't wrongly blame you then you don't have anything to be scared about. Remember that our anxiety lies to us. And guess what he can't physically respond to you right now so I suggest you to talk to him the next time you visit him. Your worst case scenario isn't even possible right now sweetie. I think if you talk to him now you'd feel less scared. Where as when he wakes up he can respond and you feel even more scared. Does that sound like a plan?"
