Skullgirls watch Death Battle

Introduction

There are many gods in the multiverse. So many, in fact, that it's borderline impossible to know all their names. And not all of them are particularly busy. Two in particular were downright bored. One turned to the other. "Hey. You ever wonder what the cast of Skullgirls would think of Death Battle?"

The younger of the two deities, said "Well not really but it does sound like a good way to waste a few days. You'd think a god of unemployment would have a lot more to do."

"All right, cool." The god of slacking nodded. "Okay, lemme just make a list, you get their seats, snacks and other accomodations, and we'll start the abductions..."

A few minutes later, the god of slacking held up a small sheet of paper. "Right, so we got Filia, Cerebella, Peacock, Parasoul, Ms. Fortune, Painwheel, Valentine, Double, Squigly, Big Band, Beowulf, Eliza, Marie, Umbrella, and Annie. All the main characters, plus a couple extras."

The deity of unemployment walked back in "I set up the theatre and have arranged for their favorite foods and preferred seating to be available within the pocket dimension."

The God of slacking's quirked eyebrow demanded further explanation.

"You would not believe the number of different opinions on what makes a comfortable chair that group has." Unemployed did not necessarily mean slothful after all.

"Ah, right, right, of course... Well, let's get the viewers here and situated!" The god of slacking pulled out a video game controller and pushed a button while aiming at the theatre.

The sound of many confused voices were heard, followed shortly by several... 'interactions'.

"ELIZA! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE END, HERETIC!"

"Ah, the trinity's dog... Would you care for a biscuit?"

"Hey! You're that two-bit thief Vitale's after! Where's the life gem?!"

"Whoa there, I don't think you really need a HAND from me, chesty!"

"Samson! I'd hoped our paths would not cross again, you hairy oaf!"

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly my dream date either, worm!"

"VALENTIIIIIIINE!"

"Project Painwheel. Fancy running into you here."

"ANNIIIIIIIE! ANNIE, SIGN MY HAT! NO, SIGN ANDY! NO, SIGN MY LIMITED EDITION HOLOGRAPHIC POSTER! NO! SIGN BOTH MY KIDNEYS!"

"Uuuhhhh... Always nice to meet a fan... Even one that's...enthusiastic to the point of being frightening..."

Then, the sound of an all out brawl was heard from within.

The God of Unemployment facepalmed. "You forgot to turn on the Truce Field didn't you?" His coworker whistled innocently.

The more active deity took on his Avatar form, a vampire in knightly armor, and stepped through the screen. "Alright ladies break it up!" He said in a quiet voice that was somehow heard over the murderous din.

The group turned to look at this newcomer. Big Band stepped up. "Yo. You in charge of this little get-together here? If so, mind explainin' to us just what in sam hell you dragged all of us here?"

Parasoul scowled. "Indeed, I'd like some answers as well. I was in the middle of something vitally important, you know."

"Yeah! Thanks to you, I'm missing out on my ice cream!" Umbrella snapped.

"You'll get answers." The armored man assured them. "But princess Umbrella, are you certain that you don't have your ice-cream?"

Sure enough, the chocolate-with-sprinkles cone Umbrella had been enjoying was still in her hand. Or rather, was returned to her hand.

"You have been brought here to foster understanding and peace among you. When you leave, not only will no time have passed in your homeland but one of you will be able to accomplish something your world has desired for many years."

The god of unemployment looked over to the ethereal glow in the corner. "Skullgirl. You may come out now. The skull heart has no influence over you here, and none are allowed to attack you, lest they get a cap in their rectum."

After a moment of silence, a young girl with snow white hair, red eyes and a maid uniform stepped out slowly, looking around rather uneasily. "...Greetings." She said simply.

Peacock's eyes widened in recognition. "Marie?! You're the Skullgirl?!"

"Soon to be former Skullgirl, but yes. Classic example of he, or rather she, who fights monsters." The armored man commented. He then properly looked at Marie "You know you could have picked something more comfortable than those rags if you wanted."

Parasoul was the first of the other guests to speak after that. "If you really are arranging the defeat of the skull heart, you have my thanks sir. It took my mother and countless of our citizens."

Double stepped forward with a visible scowl. "I cannot allow this. How dare you bring the servant of the Skull Heart here to inform her that you intend to destroy it?"

"Ha! Like you have a choice, 'sister Agatha'!" The god of slacking stepped in, and the god of unemployment groaned as he saw his companion was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sunglasses, clearly going for the silly approach to his serious. "Sorry to tell you, sister. My chum and I? We're on the lower tier of the god list. But y'know something? We're still a hell of a lot tougher than a trio of phonies who think they can do whatever they feel like!"

Double snorted in response. This buffoon, stronger than her goddesses? There was no way that was the truth. She refused to believe it for even a fraction of a second.

"My companion's attire and thoughts on his power-level aside, he does have a point. I could slay the Trinity with both hands tied behind my back while blindfolded, he could do so by winking." Spoke GoU.

Peacock wondered aloud "If the Skull Heart isn't going to be a thing anymore what do I do now?" She was after all a living weapon against Skullgirls.

"Yeah... WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF THE SKULLHEART'S NOT AROUND ANYMORE, HUH, VALENTINE?!" Painwheel roared. "NOT LIK I HAVE A FAMILY TO GO BACK TO NOW BECAUSE OF YOU AND BRAIN DRAIN!" Valentine said nothing.

"You are both heretics." Double snarled, morphing into her amorphous blob form. "I will not allow you to-Oof!" The god of slacking slapped her, knocking her down instantly.

"This is a place of peace. I'd have preferred you not be here but the Slacker insisted." GoU spoke calmly. "Patricia, Carol, I'm certain the Canopian peacekeeping forces would gladly accept warriors of your caliber."

Parasoul nodded "The age might be an issue, and both of you would need to go to school, but yes I'd happily accept you to the Royal Guard."

Peacock snickered mischievously, while Carol clenched her fists. Great, from a soldier to a psycho madman to a soldier to the princess... Not that much of a step up in her book...

"There's just one thing we want in exchange. We want you to watch an ongoing web series about fictional characters you've never heard about beating the hell out of each other for the amusement of others."

The reactions were varied. Filia and Squigly looked curious. Cerebella, Samson, Peacock, Umbrella and Beowulf looked intrigued. And everyone else just sort of raised their brows in confusion.

"That's an...odd demand, but if it'll fix our problems, then what the hell? Bring on the show." Valentine shrugged.

"Hell yeah, good old fashioned action and violence! Ya can't go wrong!" Peacock cheered, hopping into one of the chairs and reclining back.

"This is... very unorthodox... Are we really about to save our world by watching television?" Parasoul asked.

"Hmph... With weak deities like these? I sincerely doubt it... I will humour them for now... But they will find they are sorely mistaken if they believe they can best the trinity..."

And with that, everyone chose a seat, and the show was on...