Skullgirls watch Death Battle

Goro vs Machamp

[We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.

Wiz: Bruce Lee once said, "I don't believe in different ways of fighting. We all have two arms and two legs, so that is why I believe there should be only ONE way of fighting."

Boomstick: Clearly, he never met these four-armed fighters with four forearms.

Wiz: Goro, the half-dragon prince of Mortal Kombat.

Boomstick: And Machamp, the Fighting-type Pokémon from the Kanto region.]

"Spoken like a man who never met a feral." Mused Beowulf. His Machop let out an excited cry at the sight of Machamp, and Beowulf blinked. "Ooooh. We're about to see your evolved form in action! All right!" He cheered. Annie smirked in bemusement, then looked down at her Staryu.

"Get used to that kind of enthusiasm. I hang out with this guy a lot." She warned it.

"Ah, muscleheads are annoying enough when they only got two arms, now they got four." Peacock scoffed. "Can't imagine how smug these guys are."

"...Well, one's basically an animal and the other has a total butterface, sooo... I'mma take a hard pass on that." Nadia shrugged.

"My... I imagine they're at the gym a lot..." Squigly murmured.

Filia looked at Samson. "Well... Bruce Lee didn't have hair he could use as a weapon."

[Boomstick: MORTAL KOMBAT!

Boomstick sings the Mortal Kombat theme.

Boomstick: Ah, a fighting tournament as killer as its iconic theme song. With a reputation like that, you better believe the first boss in the game would be a champion who's won nine times in a row. He won't just kick your ass, he'll rip your arms off, too.]

"...He doesn't seem very friendly..." Murmured Filia.

"If he's the champion of such a barbaric sport... of course he's not friendly." Squigly murmured.

"Must be another one of Shao Kahn's guys." Cerebella muttered.

"Oh, he would make FINE muscle." Eliza purred.

Carol's Togepi whined and covered its ears at Boomstick trying to sing. "Hey Boomstick! You're hurting my baby's ears, knock that shit off!" Carol barked, hugging it up to her shoulder and patting its back.

[Wiz: This is Goro, prince of the Shokan people and one of their strongest warriors. He's eight feet, two inches tall, weighs 550 pounds, and clocks in at 2,000 years old, with no signs of slowing down.]

"Well, he's looking well for his age." Remarked Nadia. Her Sneasel snickered into her claws.

"A prince? He... hardly seems regal..." Marie murmured.

"Only two thousand, goodness, he's a spring chicken." Eliza chuckled.

[Goro: I will give you a warrior's death.]

"...No!" Umbrella huffed.

"A warrior's death... Hmph... Ridiculous..." Parasoul scoffed. Her Ralts shivered and she patted her head. "Now there, you don't have to worry about that..."

"'Warrior's death' is just a fancy way of saying 'dying meaninglessly in a pointless fight'." Eliza scoffed.

"Ah, he's a stick in the mud tough guy type, is he?" Peacock scoffed.

[Boomstick: He's been through a hell of a lot during his run, but here are the highlights. He fought in a civil war, crushed some 500 dollar sunglasses, and uh, oh yeah! He's a half-humanoid, half-dragon person! Who would be stupid enough to fight a half-dragon with four arms?]