Gone Soft

Ch. 8 - No More Hiding

Two more months had passed since then, and it was our 5-month anniversary today, Friday. I and Austin were walking to our last class together, as afterward, we had planned to go celebrate.

When thinking of what we could do together, I realized that in the five months I had known him, I'd only ever seen Austin eat snacks, like a few pretzels or a handful of trail mix, but he always avoided making planes to eat at a restaurant, and always left or had to go before a meal was served, like dinner at my house. I suppose it never occurred to me, but I felt like he should trust me enough by now to eat in front of me... right?

I started talking to him about what to do after school, as we strolled the hallways holding hands. (It became the "norm" ever since Barns and Noble).

"Sooo what do you wanna do after school today Aus? There's this really good Pizza Restaurant that just opened right down the street."
"Yeah, uhh well I was thinking maybe we could bowl or something, I'm not really that hungry..." I turned to look at him as a worried and downcast expression fell on his face.

"Austin... we've known each other for 5 whole months now, and we've never been on a "formal" date before... I dunno it's fine if you don't want to I guess." I knew my words were in a way guilt-tripping him, but I was becoming more concerned, I wanted to know what was keeping him from eating in front of me, as his significant other, I wanted to know what was going on in that beautiful mind of his.
To my surprise, he reluctantly agreed, and before I knew it we were sitting next to each other in a roomy booth in a dim-lighted, deep red room.

We made normal conversation until the waiter arrived and we ordered an eight slice of pizza with all the toppings, and two fountain drinks.

I tried to focus on my own food, but it was rather hard, as I had the urge to watch Austin's behavior. At first, he was eating at a normal rate, as we still held a conversation. However, all of a sudden, it was like he was no longer in the same room with me. He was on his second slice, devouring it in seconds, then his third, fourth, fifth, and sixth. I could hardly take my eyes off him, I had never seen anyone down so much food in so little time. I looked him up and down while he was gorging himself. His eyes had gotten wide, with a tranced look on his face. His figure tips had tomato sauce all over them, he had also managed to get some on his tee-shirt as well as the side of his mouth and chin. I glanced over at his tummy, his tee-shirt had expanded to its limits and had ridden up the slightest bit, and his Jean waist was hidden under the overhang that was his stomach.

I saw his hand quickly reach for the last slice. Should I stop him? I reached out my hand and placed it gently on the hand that was going for the pizza. Shocked, he turned to look at me, embarrassment written all over his face.

"Austin- are you sure you're still hungry?" I really didn't want to make him feel guilty for how much he had eaten, but for his own sake, I couldn't let him eat another slice.

"Mia- I-I'm so sorry, I'm disgusting! This is exactly why I didn't want to eat out with you because I knew the second I was around food I would turn into a pig !" His hand slept away from mine as he buried his face in both hands.

"Baby, n-no I- don't say that about yourself, I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable after eating a bit too much, why don't we go back to my place and we can chill and talk about it if you want?" He nodded his head as he nervously swallowed hard.

We had finally made it to my house, and into my bedroom which was thankfully on the first floor, I shut the door behind us.

"Austin, we can sit on my bed if you want?"
"A-Alright, thanks for inviting me over!" This was about the fifth time he'd been over to my house. I watched as he slowly made his way onto my bed, struggling with his full, hurting belly, maneuvering and rolling onto my rather high-set bed. I couldn't help but stare. Finally, after he got himself situated, I crawled onto the bed and sat down next to him.

We both stared into space for a minute, trying to think of what to say.

"Austin, I... I just wanted to let you know that I'm so happy you trust me enough to eat in front of me, I know it's a hard thing for you... And I wanted you to know that I would never judge you or anyone for their eating habits, but out of genuine concern, what do your meals look like on a daily basis?" I hoped I hadn't pushed too far, but everything I said was true, I was genuinely concerned for Austin and his health.

He continued to stare at the edge of the bed, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Welll, I dunno... usually I don't eat most of the day, and try to be healthy, to lose weight and all but then I just get really hungry when I have one meal and I gorge myself and probably double if I had just eaten regular meals throughout the day... I promise I'll stop doing that though, especially in public!"
"Baby..." I turned to look at him, placing a gentle hand on his chubby cheek, making him keep eye contact. "Aus, what you just described sounds more like an eating disorder, like a binge eating disorder I think... I think you should see someone about this, like a physiatrist or something, that could help you better understand why you feel you need to restrict so much!"
"B-but I have to lose weight!"
"Austin... unless you're doing it for yourself, I think your perfect just the way you are! But just promise me that you'll see someone about this! I- I'll even go with you if that helps."
"O-oh Okay... I guess if you really want me to."
I leaned back against my headboard, placing my slender hand on his distended stomach. My hand quickly slipped down to the waistband of his jeans, as I unbuttoned his jeans. Similar to prom night, I watched his belly spill out over his lap, as he left out a sigh of relief. He didn't seem as embarrassed, but rather relived. This made me smile inside.

My hand crept under his white-stained tee-shirt, and I began rubbing his smooth, swollen stomach in circular motions with my thumb. He too put his head back on the pillows I had propped up for him. He smiled and said in almost a whisper "I love you."

This made my stomach flood with butterflies but at the same time made me feel as light as air. "I love you more," I said in a teasing voice. Within minutes I heard a few heavy breaths and turned to see Austin sound asleep, with his head slumped slightly toward my shoulder. I calmly watched his tubby belly rise and fall with each breath as I too, drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.