Tour Guide ➣ Carl Grimes

7. A Civil Conversation

Hannah found Carl on the Monroe's porch with his hands resting on his thighs, legs wide in front of him. He wasn't wearing the hat he had come to Alexandria in, which seemed somewhat odd to Hannah. It must have held a special meaning to him, otherwise, the accessory seemed unnecessary for the world he lived in before coming here. He never really seemed to wear it other than that day. The boy's brows were furrowed like he was lost inside his own mind. Hannah couldn't tell whether he was angry or just unhappy. Either way, there was clear exhaustion spread across his face. Hannah could see it in the way his eyes threatened to close as he looked down at the dirt, in the way he chewed his lip almost unconsciously, and how he picked at a loose string on his jeans, wrapping it around his finger and then releasing it.

Hannah neared the boy, her hands wiping across her dress once more.

"Hey." She said softly as if she might scare him away. He only turned his head to her. It was dark outside, but it was still early enough that she could make out the features on his face. He had a thin nose, though it wasn't quite upturned, oaky brown eyes that hid behind long, dark lashes, and light pink lips that only ever seemed to frown.

"It was getting kinda stuffy in there," Carl mumbled, knowing her next question before she even asked. Hannah nodded, though she wasn't sure the boy would even notice.

"Yeah, I bet." Was all she could say. "Hey, thanks for the cards. I don't think I've ever actually beat them at anything." Hannah chuckled, referencing the game from earlier. She began moving closer to the boy. Carl was sitting on the steps still, so she moved to lean against the railing that stood across from him.

"Yeah, I bet," Carl said, almost mockingly. Hannah scoffed lightly at the boy who only seemed amused by his comment. Hannah couldn't understand Carl. He seemed to like Alexandria enough, seemed as though he could be happy here, so why was he always so distant? So angry? And what had she done to become the one who received the brunt of all these feelings?

"So," Hannah started again, trying to ignore the comment, "How are you liking Alexandria?"

"It's nice. The people are nice." Carl said. He still hadn't looked back at Hannah since the beginning of their conversation, forcing his eyes to the ground in front of him. He had picked up a small twig and was tracing patterns into the loose dirt. First, he drew what seemed to just be squiggles, but soon Hannah noticed them turning into real designs. First, there was a square, then a circle, and finally a heart, which surprised Hannah the most.

Hannah finally decided to sit next to the boy, keeping a small distance between them, "Yeah, they are." The two sat in silence after that, neither of them sure of what to say next. Hannah began to regret coming out here. Carl obviously wanted to be left alone and she was only making him more uncomfortable. Maybe she should have just stayed with Ron and Mikey. She could live if Carl didn't like her, Hannah thought.

"Do you know Enid leaves the camp?" Carl says randomly. Hannah turned her head to the boy.

"What?" She said, confused at his question. Of course, she knew Enid left camp, but how did he know?

"She leaves. She climbs over the walls and stays out in the woods. Did you know that?" He asked again.

"Yeah, I did." Hannah thought for a moment. "I trust her. She can protect herself."

"How do you know that?" Carl says louder, finally looking at Hannah. His brows were furrowed again as he spoke, but Hannah noticed, now that she was sitting so close, Carl's eyes were a lighter brown than she had thought, "No one here has ever had to defend themselves. It's not safe out there. I know."

"That's not true. Everyone here came from the outside, just like you." She said. Hannah began to understand why Carl was so upset all the time. He wasn't used to living in a place like Alexandria. This wasn't his normal anymore. His normal had changed a long time ago.

"Yes, it is. Everyone here is weak. You guy's don't know how to survive, not in the real world." Hannah didn't know what to say. She didn't know when their conversation had taken such a wrong turn.

"Being comfortable isn't being weak. We've all lost things, Carl." Hannah tried to sound kind with her words, but it was so hard to talk to Carl. She never knew if what she was saying was right or how he would receive it. Carl made her nervous, and Hannah hated feeling nervous.

Carl seemed to realize the weight of what he had said, and his eyes dropped from Hannah's. "I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just- it's so weird, you know?" He asked.

"What is?"

"No one is scared. You all act like nothing is happening. Like everything is okay. I just, I don't get it. I don't know." His voice wandered and their conversation lulled. He was wrong, Hannah was scared. She had always been scared. She still had nightmares of being outside, visions of her family disappearing right in front of her. It was always bloody and it was always graphic, and they came over and over again. It was terrifying.

"You know, I came from outside too." Carl looked up as Hannah began to speak. It was her turn to stare at the ground, while he just hung on to her words. "I was probably only eleven or twelve when I got here, but who knows anymore? My parents were gone, and I never had any siblings or anything. It was just me."

"How did you make it here? All by yourself?" Carl asked.

"I'm not sure anymore. But I know that, if I had a choice, I wouldn't want to do it again. That's why I don't go with Enid. I can't do it again." Hannah said quietly.

"It's funny," Carl started, "You know, being outside, it made sense. People tried to survive, walkers tried to kill you, that's it. But now, it's more than just surviving, it's living, and I'm not sure how to do that anymore.

Hannah stayed quiet for a moment, "We can teach you. We can learn." 

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Heyyy Lovelies!!! This chapter was so fun to write. My babies are finally talking to each other!!

What do you think of their conversation??? What about what Hannah said??

Thanks for Reading!