Aarzoo and Atif confined in a marriage with no interest and expectations, deal with complications until they mutually decide to part their ways keeping their kins uninformed. Just when they think it's the end to all their difficulties, they discern...
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'He is the right man for you' papa said looking at me as I kept my gaze down fidgeting with my top in perplexity. 'I don't know...I- ''There is nothing for you to know in this' he interrupted me.; Atif is a nice guy, he is well educated, well mannered. I do not see flaws in him and I think you should not to'
'Look at his photo' Maa said as she sat beside me showing me his picture. I had a brief glance at him. Just by looking at him, I understood how he could be described the way he had been described by my father. There was a softness in his eyes and gentleness in his smile. 'Believe me, if you have faith in your father' papa said.
'Whatever seems right to you, papa' I sighed.
'That's like my girl' Maa said and smiled at papa.
I walked to my room feeling numb about the entire situation. This feeling was farthest away from happiness or sorrow. I was feeling everything and also nothing at all. I heard my parents on call in the living area. They told them how I said a yes. I was getting married and I was feeling impulsive. Maybe that's how every girl feels about marriage I thought. I was getting married to a doctor. A neurologist precisely. Obviously, he seems well educated like papa said. But with the pros, follow the cons, we've got a fair difference of ten years. I am a twenty-two-year-old final-year mechanical engineering student, while he is a thirty-two-year-old doctor. Besides the entire age gap factor, he lives in Amsterdam. There was already a lot on my plate to be overwhelmed about. I heard my parents laugh across the hall. They seemed cheerful and all I knew is that I wasn't feeling even the tiniest happiness like they did. But somewhere in their laughter, I tried searching for my happiness too.
A few months later he flew down to India for marriage and we all stayed at his father's guest house. That's where the marriage took place. He belonged to a well-settled family and in the majority, everything was taken care of by them. Atif and I never really had a conversation. Despite belonging to the latest generation, my marriage was the kind of marriage our parents and grandparents would talk about. He was the kind of person who would be difficult to judge. Not sure if he was shy or reserved, I wasn't interested to build conversations either. I barely remember looking at him. The times we accidentally came across each other in the hallway or in the staircase, we would immediately move away pretending we did not look at each other. In a way, he was my cousin. The kind of cousin we heard all life about but never really met. I also remember addressing him Bhaiyya every time he called or his mother did. Altogether it was a very eccentric feeling. Saying yes to this marriage was not my decision. Also, I wasn't forced into this. I did this because I had to. This marriage was the most impulsive choice of my life.
~
'Do as he says Maa told me as she dressed me up for our first wedding night. My heart skipped a beat as she muttered those words. The mother who once told me to stay away from the opposite gender as if they were cannibals. The mother who was not even comfortable with me having guy friends and the mother who spent the entire life feeding me up with advice and warnings to not let a man touch you without your consent. It was hard to believe it was the same mother who uttered those words. 'It's okay. There is nothing to be afraid of. Every girl goes through this in her life. It is going to be okay' she said as she pressed my palm and smiled. 'He'll be there in some time' she added. I responded with a forced smile and a nod.
I entered the room and was instantly struck by the strong aura of roses. God protect me! My heart mumbled as I sat on the bed. I had a clear look around the room. It looked like a well-designed room with contemporary styled décor. I tried paying attention to the slightest detail of the room in order to forget the nervousness that I was going through. Suddenly, the door opened and he walked in. 'Now go away' He told his brothers and friends as he laughed and closed the door. I gasped and looked away as we had eye contact, he cleared his throat. He looked around the room and further walked towards the bathroom. I exhaled Where have I got myself into? I wondered as my throat dried up. I looked around for water and found a glass full of milk placed on the side table. I was too thirsty to ask if I could, so I drank it all at once and kept it back in its place. I heard the bathroom door unlock and quickly wiped my mouth. Just when he was getting in bed somebody knocked on the door. He opened the door to see his mother outside. 'Did you finish the milk?' She asked.
'Milk?' he looked towards the table and noticed the empty glass.
Shit!
He looked at me for a second and looked back at his mother 'Yes. Yes, I did' he said. 'That's good' She smiled and rubbed his arm. 'I'll leave you both alone now' she said and smiled. 'I'm sorry, I didn't know it was for you' I said in my defense.
'That's okay I don't like it anyway' he said and got on the bed. I stayed still like a statue sitting in one position. 'You didn't change?' He asked doubtfully. 'Ch-Change?' I stammered.
'Do you sleep like this?' he asked looking at my grand outfit. 'No. Not really' I said.
'Yeah? Don't you want to change?' he asked.
'um, yeah! Sure I want to' I quickly replied and got off the bed.
He was asleep by the time I changed to my night suit and came. I took soft steps and got closer to his face to confirm if he is actually sleeping. I looked at him sleeping in peace. His face looked like he was in the deepest sleep and was having a lovely dream. And here I was, still finding it difficult to process things.
Damn it!
'It's going to be quite cold there' Atif said breaking the cold silence between us on the flight. 'I see' I said with short nods. 'Why did you choose Amsterdam?' I asked.
'No reason. I felt it was good for me' He replied as he pulled out a magazine. 'I like it there' he said after a long pause. 'I hope you like it too' he added. I forced a smile and looked out of the window. I observed how everything looked so tiny from the heights but down there the same things look huge. I understood how distance can play big time with us. Soon, I could see nothing but clouds. Bright white clouds that looked like balls of cotton on a blue painted canvas. Beautiful! The long flight landed which felt like forever 'How long is your place from here' I asked him as we walked out of the airport. 'Just a few miles' he said and directed me towards a car. I looked at him doubtfully 'This is here for you' he said. 'For me?' I asked in a state of confusion. 'He's Diego, my driver. He'll drop you home safe. You've got everything you might need in there. If there's anything that we missed, inform Diego' He said and opened the door for me. 'Um, alright! Okay' I said and got in the car. A quick battle inside my head if I should or should not ask if he's not coming with me 'Aren't you...' he closed the door. 'I'll see you later' Atif said and turned around as he got a call.
I was in a strange country with a stranger in a car. He played music that made me even more uncomfortable than I already was. Tears rushed down my cheeks as I didn't know what was happening to me. It was harder to control myself from crying because that's all I wanted to do at that point. I was not sure where I was going and if I'll even be safe. God protect me my heart whispered. In a time span of around thirty minutes, the driver stopped the car below a vintage-style apartment. He got off the car and picked up our luggage. 'Come in ma'am' he said as he walked inside. Atif's apartment was on the 4th floor. The nameplate outside his house said Hussain Atif. The driver opened the house and turned on the lights for me. He left handing me over the house keys. It looked like a great place. Light painted walls, simple modern furniture. Almost looked like a perfect place for Atif kind of person but I never know, I don't know him yet.
