In the Name of Love
Alizarin
"I was pregnant." My hand that was caressing her back froze.
For a moment, I seemed to become deaf. I couldn't breathe properly at her revelation. I wasn't even sure that I heard her clearly. I sucked in a breath when I recalled the words that she said.
'I was pregnant.'
Was.
My hands slowly let go of her. Unwrapping my arms around her fragile frame, she looked at me with pain and anguish in her eyes. I couldn't gather my thoughts on the words that she uttered.
She was pregnant.
And I knew for a fact that I was the only man she ever slept with. She told me that piece of information before. As if preparing me to know the whole story behind her condition.
I couldn't voice out the words that hung in my throat. I tried to speak out, but no words came out from my mouth.
"Come with me, please." I obliged as she led us out of my office, my work long forgotten.
She was about to hail a cab outside when I pulled her to my car. We sat inside in silence as I drove towards our unit.
I wasn't even sure how safely we arrived at the building, as my mind kept on going back to her words.
I was pregnant.
My heart started to ache at the sudden realization. Her silence could only mean one thing.
I hadn't realized that we were already inside her unit. Only when she held my balled fists did I snapped out of my mind.
Closing the door behind me, I eyed her as she went to a room at the farthest corner. I followed her when she looked at me, as I was only staring at her from my place by the door.
Taking a key from the small cabinet at the corner, she unlocked the door.
As the lights turned on, I immediately notice the pictures that hung on the wall. The room was clean, as if it was maintained and cleaned daily. With cream-colored walls, it looked comfortable, despite the absence of furniture present inside.
I looked at the pictures on the wall one by one. It was a picture of her family. Some pictures show the three Callaway siblings, smiling at each other. Some have her and Yula's only, and a few pictures where all of them were present. From her mother, to her father, and to the three children happily smiling.
I then notice the boy from one of their family pictures. With the same cerulean eyes as Yula and their mother, it almost looked like Ciarra was adopted. However, a quick glance at the late CEO of Callaway Companies had me thinking otherwise. They share the same hazel eyes that I come to love, only hers was lighter.
"You looked like twins. Except for the eyes." I absentmindedly mutter, still staring at the picture. She also glanced at the photo, eyes showing longing the longer she looked at the boy.
My eyes were suddenly drawn towards the table placed at the center by the wall. There was an angel statuette on the table, a little vase filled with white carnations, and a few unlit candles.
I slowly made my way towards the table. Noticing the object that caught my eyes, she stepped back and allowed me to get near, silent tears flowing down.
What caught my attention was the photo inside a frame that sat at the middle of the table. It wasn't an ordinary photo. It was dark and a few streaks of light surrounded something black at the center. A little paper at the bottom that said '3 months'.
A sonogram.
I stepped closer to the table, my heart slowly breaking the longer I stare at the picture. There was barely even a form of the fetus.
A tear fell when I heard Ciarra sobbed beside me, burying her face in her hands as her sobs became louder.
I looked at the photo with mixed emotions stirring in me. I was a father, and I hadn't known. I had a baby growing in her, but it wasn't released to the world.
Finally found my voice as tears flowed from my eyes, I asked what happened.
And what I found out, broke another piece of the heart left in me.
The extent of her suffering made me at a loss for words. It was depressing.
She told me about what happened five years ago. Why she had left me and why she wasn't able to contact me again. Despite the tears that kept on falling from my eyes, I tried hard to listen to every word she said.
It was three months after what happened that they were allowed to leave. Turns out, Yula managed to win a case against a corrupt senator before. However, the family of the senator couldn't accept the life sentence in jail that was decided by the court. So, they targeted the attorney responsible for it instead. After the family had been also placed in jail for multiple counts of conspiracy to commit murder, attempted murder, drug dealing, drug possession, and drug trafficking, were they able to breathe freely.
At first, she hadn't known that she's already with a child, but after constant vomiting and lack of appetite, she feared that she would become like her little brother. So, she went to the nearest hospital to have a check-up.
I was actually surprised to hear that after knowing she was pregnant, she wanted to look for me and tell me about the baby. But she didn't get the chance to.
It was October and the rain was causing the roads to become slippery. She was on her way to my company after knowing that the man she slept with in Miami was actually the CEO of her rival company.
While on her way, she saw a piece of news displayed on a screen somewhere in the city. The headline saying a new addition to the Renard family was made public.
I clearly remember that piece of news. In it, a video of me and Keiran holding her newborn twins was played over and over again. It lasted for about a minute as it showed our smiling faces and merry hearts.
I was the one holding my sister's hand while she was giving birth because her husband was in the army and he couldn't file for a leave that time. Knowing how deep in pain she was during labor, the nurses asked for me to go in and hold her hand, trying to give her additional support.
I didn't realize that time that a minute of joy for me and my family was a week of hell for her.
While I gained two, she lost three.
A second of distraction while she watched the screen, a taxi lost control and ran her over.
She managed to survive the accident, but the baby wasn't lucky.
After news spread out of the Callaway heiress' accident, her parents immediately flew back home from a business trip.
They never arrived.
The moment she woke up in the hospital after what happened, she received news that her parents arrived dead from a plane crash.
While I was celebrating a sudden birth, she was mourning a sudden death.
After hearing what happened, she finally lost it. The pain from losing a child was unbearable, but the pain from losing her parents within the same week was devastating.
She tried self-harm, even attempted committing suicide.
It was a good thing that Yula was still able to knock some sense into her.
After hearing her story, I couldn't help but be ashamed of my thoughts earlier. How could I even think that she would abort our own child?
"It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you." Kissing her head as she cried in my arms, I continued to whisper those words to her, as she kept on apologizing for the loss of our child. She gripped my shirt tightly in her hands, knuckles turning white.
"I don't blame you."
Hugging her tighter to my arms, together, we mourned the death of our child, as well as the deaths that occurred in her life.
