Before You Go
Ciarra
I was aware of the sounds that I hear from the room. I was aware of the hands that touched me. I was aware of the heat that came from a hand that held mine.
I know I was aware, but at the same time I wasn't.
I tried moving my hands, but my body seemed to be submerged under water. I tried opening my eyes, but they seemed to be locked shut.
I could hear the sound of something beeping in the background. It had slow rhythmic patterns.
Despite the dark surrounding that I was in, I recognized the sound of the door opening, and hearing laughter from kids.
Kids?
With the state that I am in, I still held my stomach when I felt it tighten. I heard what that voice said. The voice was soft, unlike the voices that I hear in my mind all the time. This time, it was soft and faint, as if lulling me to sleep. The voice said I was pregnant, and that I should wake up now. If I don't wake up immediately, my baby could be taken from me.
No. Please not my baby. Not again, please.
I heard the change in pattern of the beeping sound in the background. In my panic and restless state, I almost think that it matched whatever it is that I'm feeling right now.
Then that warm hand was back again. It held mine with care. With the softest of touch that I remembered, it started tracing circles around my palm, the friction that our skin caused brought tingles to my system.
"Uncle, is she your wife?"
I heard that voice say, however I knew that I don't recognized it. Its source must be a child. It had a childlike edge to it. A curiosity only a child can possess.
"Hmm, you can say that. She will be anyway." The beeping pattern in the background changed again.
"She can hear you, Uncle." Another childlike voice resounded. Although, unlike the first one, this voice had a little touch of shyness in it.
Children. I'm surrounded by children.
I wanted to open my eyes and see for myself who these children are and whose are they.
"You thought so?" came that soft voice's reply. I was suddenly drawn to that voice. Despite not seeing the source, I know that the voice is not happy. It had a rough touch at the end of its words, as if it was just forcing itself not to cry in front of the children.
I then felt little warm hands at my arms. Compared to the hand tracing patterns at my palm, these warm hands caused something in me to feel something. As if the warmth of their skin wanted to pull me away from this darkness.
"Please wake up, pretty aunty. Our uncle is sad. We don't want him to be sad." Hearing what the first childlike voice said, something in me felt pain. Whoever his uncle was, he must be a great person. Children asking someone to wake up for the sake of seeing their uncle happy was something that I longed to have before.
Not until it was taken from me.
"Uncle said that you have a baby in your tummy, pretty aunty. Please don't leave us or the baby will be sad, too."
As the second voice finished its words, I felt something trailing down my cheek, like a caress in my soul.
"Pretty aunty's crying! What did I do? Mommy!" After hearing the panic in the second voice's words, the other pair of hands left. In my darkened state, I tried reaching out for the warmth of those tiny hands. No matter how far I reach out, the darkness seemed to stretch endlessly.
No. Please don't cry, little one.
I didn't hear anymore voices. But I still felt the warmth of the hands that lay on my skin. However, as seconds passed by, the feeling of their touch in my skin seemed to fade.
I was then pulled back to the endless void, cold and alone.
Alizarin
"What happened, doc?" I asked, frantic when the nurses suddenly asked us all to step outside. The doctor looked worried when he went inside the room earlier, but now he seemed composed.
"The patient had a minor shock. It is best to say that she was responding to treatment, however I would advise anyone to not stimulate the patient in a way that reminds her of the past. Strong negative emotions felt by the patient might cause more harm than good. For the meantime, she is now stable. Let's continue to hope that she gets better." After the doctor's words, Aleck began to cry in my arms. Poor guy thought it was his fault that she cried.
"Hey, bud, it's okay. She's alright now. You did a good job back there." I continued to pat his back, but he seemed so lost in his head that he didn't respond and just cried.
Wiping the tears in his eyes, I walked inside the room where Ciarra was in with Aleck in my arms, "Hey, look. Pretty aunty is fine. Nothing happened, so stop crying now, hmm?" I whispered in his ears as he glanced at her sleeping form, eyes filled with tears.
"Don't cry. Pretty aunty won't be happy when she hears you crying. You said so yourself that she can hear us, right? She will also be sad if you continue to cry like that." wiping the remaining tears on his cheek, he hugged my neck as he whispered a soft apology, hiccupping every now and then.
The events that occurred earlier made me realize that she responded to the twins. It's been two days since I brought her here and she hasn't responded to any one of us. Be it her cousin, her brother, or her best friend. But earlier, I noticed how every time the twins talked and touched her, the machine that monitors her heart continued to beep loudly. It still had its slow rhythm but every now and then a noticeable increase in rhythm is heard.
"Say, kiddo, why don't you go home with mommy for now? Then, tomorrow, I'll take you and Beck to see her again. How about that?" I asked Aleck as he rubbed his nose with the back of his tiny hand. He nodded his head and hugged me one last time before wiggling out of my arms.
I followed him as he ran towards his mother, hugging her thigh when he neared him. I talked to Keiran for a while, before accompanying them to the car so they can go home.
I just hope whatever I plan will help.
