AUTHORS NOTE: i'm struggling with motivation atm but you're comments really help. ideas/feedback or even just general talk! ty❤️
hollys pov: i woke up from a nightmare that scarlett hated me. this just was another anxiety added onto my already long list of them. i knew i could just cancel but i didn't want to let lizzie down plus that means i wouldn't see her. god i wish she were my mom. well i decided to get ready eventually and i wanted to wear something nice so i chose an outfit that i bought yesterday when i went shopping with lizzie.
here's what i ended up wearing:
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with this hairstyle
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and just some light makeup too because i wanted to be natural.
lizzie has just text me saying she's outside so i throw on my shoes and run downstairs. "hey gorgeous" lizzie says. "hi" i say happily. she was alone, i was kinda glad because that meant that i could have some alone time with her before scarlett came. my leg started bouncing when i realised i'd be meeting her so soon. what if she hates me? thinks i'm a nobody? convinces lizzie i shouldn't be around her? all these thoughts started filling my head and i'm gathering lizzie picked up on it. she reached her hand over and lay it on my thigh to calm me down. i place my hand on top of hers. "scarlett is going to love you holly, she can't wait to meet you". "how did you know i was thinking about that?" i asked. "just an educated guess" she replies. god that woman is a mind reader, it's actually scary.
we arrive at lizzies house and to my surprise, scarlett isn't there. good, i had some time to mentally prepare myself. "hey hun do you want something to drink, we will be having lunch with scarlett" i was kinda thirsty. "yeah sure" "okay what would u like?" "surprise me" i shout back. i didn't know, i was too busy stressing out. no but seriously, what if she turns lizzie against me? i dunno it's just scaring me. "HOLLY" lizzie screams in my ear. "yeah?" i reply. "i've been calling your name for about 5 minutes!" she says giving me my drink. which was absolutely gorgeous!
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"okay miss bartender i see you" i say. "relax it's pink lemonade out of a glass" "ooo a glass" "yes a glass, anyways are you okay? what's going on in that bright mind?" "i think you know" "seriously holly, she will love you! but i can cancel the plans and me and you can spend the day doing something else" as much as i would've loved to say yes, i just couldn't let lizzie cancel her plans because of my stupid anxiety. "no lizzie, it's okay, i'll be fine" "okay but if you get overwhelmed tell me or tap twice on the table and i'll get you out of the situation okay?" she asks. "okay" i reply feeling better now i know i have an escape route just incase!
after a while of general conversation and hugs with lizzie, there's a knock on the door. "i'll get it, it'll just be scarlett" "heyyy lizzie, where's holly i wanna meet her" scarlett says excitedly making me ease up a tiny bit. "nice to see you too, she's in the living room" lizzie giggles. i kid you not scarlett ran in here to see me. "hi trouble" she says. i freeze. did i do something wrong? have i brought lizzie bother? does she already not like me. "holly...holly...holly" "oh sorry yeah?" "it's just a nickname i came up for you, don't worry you've done nothing wrong" i release the biggest breath ever.
••••••• this literally took me like 2 weeks to write. no motivation and also typing with acrylics after a while gets tiring😭 anyways i just wanted to post something to remind yous all that i'm still alive! love you❤️
