I don't blame you. I never did.

Part 3 - I deserve it.

Y/n pov

I slowly start to wake up. My eyes fluttering open slightly, still trying to adjust to the light. I start to gather in my surroundings I realise I'm not in my cell. I'm warm for a change. Wait I'm in a bed. I'm a room.

My breathing starts to hitch and I start to panic unsure of where I am. I bolt upright my breathing unsteady and i start to panic. I see Alfie climb over to me and sit on my knee calming me down slightly.

I look to my left to see Tony sitting in a chair next to me his head rest on the bed. I think he's asleep. I'm still panicking slightly, unsure of what's to come next.

I think I accidentally woke Tony up because he's now stirring his head and rubbing his eyes. I shift further up on the bed so my back is pressed again the headboard.

He sits up and looks at me. "Мне жаль" (I'm sorry), I say to him hoping he's not angry that I woke him. "Мне жаль, Мне жаль" I repeat my breathing still uneven.

"Hey, hey it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." Tony says trying to calm me down. He reaches for my hand and touches the top of it before I pull away. "Trust me, okay? I promise, your safe now". He says reassuringly before he reaches for my hand again, this time I don't pull away. I let him take my hand in his. He gently starts rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I want to help you, can you speak English?" He asks me. "Yes" I reply in my thick Russian accent that I hate so much, it was the only thing I was able to say In between my panicked breaths.

"That's good. Do you know your name?" Tony continues. "Y/n" I reply not wanting to talk much. "Y/n, that's a lovely name.  I don't want to hurt you. I want to help you. So can I trust you?" He asks me before continuing. I slowly nod not being able to let the words escape my mouth.

"Okay, good. Your at the avengers tower. You're safe here." He states. I think he's trying to build some trust. And while I do trust tony to an extent, I can't fully trust anyone. I've been let down too many times.

"Can you tell me what happened to you at hydra
y/n?" He asks me still in a calm tone. I shake my head not wanting to talk about it. It was something I just want to forget. "Please y/n. It would really help us know more about you." He pleads. I shake my head again. "Can you remember what happened to you there?" I nod my head at his question. I do remember this time. I remember everything but that does not mean I want to share it.

"Okay, I'll be back soon y/n. I'll get you some food and there's someone I want you to meet. I really think he'll be able to help you okay?" He smiles at me. I nod my head in response and give him a half hearted smile before he turns and leaves out of the room.

After he left. I scurried over to the top corner of the bed against the wall, which also had a window overlooking New York. I sat curled in the corner of the bed Alfie came and cuddled next to me. His head forcing it's way into my hand to calm me down. I rested my head against the wall and stared out of the window while stoking Alfie.

Tony's pov

I walk into the kitchen to grab y/n some food. Poor girl doesn't look like she's eaten hardly anything recently. Luckily the man I'm looking for is in the kitchen already with Steve.

"Hey Bucky, I need your help with something" I shout over to the two men. "Sure stark, what's up?" He shouts back walking over to the island counter where I'm stood.

"There's a girl we rescued from hydra on our mission" I start. "I want you to go talk to her. See if she'll open up a little bit. She seems reluctant to trust anyone. She remembers what happened to her at hydra but she won't talk about it. I figured she'd prefer to talk to someone who knows what it's like." I finish saying.

"Yeah sure thing. Do we know anything about her, or do you need me to start from the beginning with her?" He asks in response.

Bucky's pov

"So far all we really know is, she can obviously fight. She's a good assassin. We know her name is y/n. Oh and she has a cat-" Tony starts. "Alfie." I interrupt before he can finish what he was says. "What?" He asks clearly confused. "Her cat. His name it's Alfie." I say bluntly.

"Wait, you know her?" Steve butts in just as confused as tony. "Knew. I knew her. Back in hydra" I start  "I'm sorry Tony, but I can't go in there and talk to her." "What? Why not? Surely it makes things easier if you know her?" Tony says to me. "I can't Tony. You don't know what I did to her" I reply. "That wasn't you buck, that was him, the winter soldier, not you. She was at hydra too, I'm sure she knows it wasn't you" Steve interjects. "No Steve. I'm sorry but I can't do it." I say not wanting to admit the real reason.

"Come on buck please. We need to know about her." Steve please. "No" I reply back sharply, shooting Steve a glare. "Cyborg please" Tony and them damn nicknames I think to myself before Tony continues. "She could be a use on the team. She needs someone who understands right now." "I said no" I reply coldly getting more agitated by the second. It's hard enough knowing she's in the tower. I can't bare to go in the same room as her. How would I even look her in the eye.

"Why won't you go and talk to her buck?"

"Because if I go in there and she tries to kill me...
I'm not going to stop her"

There I partly admitted, is that what they wanted? "What the hell happened at that base Bucky?" Steve asks me concerned. "Nothing" I reply not wanting to talk about it. "It's clearly not nothing is it?" Tony joins back in. "It's not just my story to tell." I say hoping they drop it.

"There's more to why you won't go in there, isn't there?" Steve asks. "Come on buck, tell us, please." Steve almost begs. "She's clearly in no state to try and kill you. So you don't have to worry about that" Tony try's to add. "Exactly" I reply. Earning confused looks from both Tony and Steve. "I deserve it." I add receiving worried expressions from the two men.