I don't blame you. I never did.

Part 5 - Shower.

Y/n's pov

I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I don't lock it due to the fact I've been locked in a room for too long to willingly lock the door on myself.

I turn the shower on full heat and don't bother putting any cold on. I always had cold showers at hydra, when they let me, I'm sure as hell not going to waste a hot one.

I take my top and shorts off and look into the long mirror hanging from the wall. I examine my body in the mirror, I look over all the scars covering my body and the fresh brushing covering my ribs from my last beating.

I can't let Bucky see the scars or bruises covering my body. I didn't have these when he left, I don't what him to know what happened after he left. I'll just hide it from everyone.

They don't really hurt anyway. Only the bruising when I touch it, but that will heal just like the rest did. I manage to pull my eyes away from the mirror and get in the shower.

The hot water feels amazing running down my body. I take my time to enjoy this feeling letting all my thoughts and fears disappear for the time being.

I hear the door to the bedroom open and my body automatically tenses slightly. I instantly calm down when I hear Bucky shout to me "your clothes are on your bed ready for you". I slightly smile to myself before replying "thank you. I'll be out soon!" I shout back. "It's okay, take your time doll" I bite my lip and smile as I hear him leave. Doll. I've missed that.

Bucky's pov

I walk out of y/n's room after leaving some clothes I asked Nat for on her bed. I really want to know what happened to her at hydra. I might be able to help her. The first years we spent together weren't the best for her. She was only a kid when she first got there, she was given to me as a stress reliever per say.

They brought her in and told me she was mine to do with as I please. I was still the winter soldier at that point, but it doesn't excuse all the things I did to her when she was first there. I think they thought if they gave me someone to use to take my stress and anger out on I would stop lashing out at the agents and cooperate more.

It did work at the start but after a few years she brought the best out in me. She could bring me back when they turned me into him. We became close and got to know each other. I was very protective of her and wouldn't let anyone else near her. Maybe they gave her to someone else, maybe they just trained her and sent on missions. I know she became an amazing assassin, I just hope they didn't do to her what they did to me, or worse.

I was pulled from my thoughts as I walked into the kitchen and was met with Steve and Tony sharing the same smug look on there faces. "What?" I say. "She hates you, yeah?" Tony says jokingly. "Oh shut up, how much do you see?" I ask them. "All of it" Tony states trying to hold back a laugh.

"Of course you did." I mutter. "What the hell happened between you two Buck?" Steve asks losing the smug look from his face. I sigh "I can't tell you Stevie, I wish I could. But it's not just my story to tell, it's also hers. I'm sorry" I apologise to the two men.

They both remove the smug look from there faces and nod understandingly. "Well she seems most comfortable with you so we won't push until she's ready." Steve says. "We can get to know her a little bit, let her feel included. I'm getting a room set up for her near yours. It's slightly bigger than the one she's in now and hopefully it will make her feel more at home." Tony adds on. "Thank you guys. I don't know what happened to her after I left but she needs us right now." Both the men nod back to me.

Our conversation was cut short when we heard a noise behind us. All three of us turned around to try and spot it. "B-Bucky" we heard as basically a whisper. "Y/n?" I ask concerned.  "I- I'm sorry I- just- I just didn't know if I was allowed to leave. And I wanted to find you. Мне жаль (I'm sorry)" y/n says slightly panicked, in her cute little Russian accent. "Hey, hey it's okay. I'm sorry I should have told you before I left. Of course your allowed to leave." I reassure her.

"Y/n, you've met Tony haven't you? And this is Steve, remember I used to tell you about him?" I introduced them. "Yeah I remember, hi" she mutters. "Hi y/n, I'm glad your okay. Feel free to wander the tower whenever you like. Wanda is making dinner tonight and then I think we are gonna play some games, would you like to join?" Steve asks her. "Yeah sure, thanks" she replies. "Hey y/n how about I give you a tour of the tower so you don't get lost?" I suggest. She nods in response.

Y/n's pov

I'm not sure how long I was in the shower for but it felt like hours, I'm sure it wasn't that long though. I managed to drag myself out of the shower eventually.

I got out grabbed one of the towels hung up. I wrapped it around my body and went to get the clothes Bucky left out for me. I grabbed them and walked back into the bathroom.

There were a pair of skinny, ripped black jeans, a thin black turtleneck top and a large light grey hoodie. To top it off there were some white trainers. Everything fit basically perfect. I make a mental note to thank Nat I believe? I'll thank her later if I meet her.

I put the clothes on and brushed my hair using a brush I found in the bathroom. I didn't know what I was supposed to do now but I wanted Bucky. I felt comfortable around him. I didn't know if I was allowed to leave but I needed to find Bucky. I'm sure he'd be able to help me get out of trouble if I get in some for leaving.

I walk out of the bedroom and see an empty hall. There's an elevator and some stairs as well as a few other rooms. I decide to take the stairs, the elevator is too small and there's a chance of it getting stuck.

I walk down the stairs and at the bottom them there's the elevator again... not as many rooms and another set of stairs. I walk down the hall a little bit and I see an open door way. I peer my head around the corner and I see Bucky stood there with Tony and another man. He was tall and had blonde hair. They were all talking amongst each other.

I lent against the wall trying to prepare myself incase I got in trouble. I accidentally made a noise and they all turned to look at the door way I was leaned against. I panicked and quickly pressed my back against the wall out of sight.

I quickly composed myself and turned the corner "b-Bucky" I barely managed to get out. "Y/n?" Bucky asks concern in his voice.  "I- I'm sorry I- just- I just didn't know if I was allowed to leave. And I wanted to find you. Мне жаль (I'm sorry)" I say still panicking incase I wasn't allowed to be here."Hey, hey it's okay. I'm sorry I should have told you before I left. Of course your allowed to leave." Bucky tells me calming me down slightly.

"Y/n, you've met Tony haven't you? And this is Steve, remember I used to tell you about him?" He asks me. I do remember him telling me about Steve. I'm glad he found him. "Yeah I remember, hi" i mutter hardly able to form a sentence. "Hi y/n, I'm glad your okay. Feel free to wander the tower whenever you like. Wanda is making dinner tonight and then I think we are gonna play some games, would you like to join?" Steve offers me . "Yeah sure, thanks" i reply. "Hey y/n how about I give you a tour of the tower so you don't get lost?" Bucky suggests to me. I can't form any words so I just nod in response.

He holds his hand out for me and I take it without hesitation in my own. I cling onto his arm like a lost child. I find comfort in Bucky. We left the room and started the tour of the compound.