park walk. | Joseph Quinn [Completed]

Chapter 8

"I don't know what to say Joe." I told him.
"Can we sit down?" I asked him.

"Yeah of course." He said and moved his hand over his mouth.

"You are going to turn me down right?" Joe asked me.
"I haven't even started talking Joe." I told him with a smile.

I looked at his eyes and my view went down. It ended at his hands.

I reached out for one of his hands. But he cupped mine with both of his.

"I know I've told you that it feels like that we never stopped talking these years. But I got the feeling that you are acting out of confusion at the moment." I told him and he nodded.
"Of course I said that you should ask the next woman you see out. But I don't think that I can be that woman." I said soft.
"But, why do you think that?" Joe asked me with all blushed cheeks.

"I don't know to be honest." I looked down at our hands.
"Maybe you think about it again. I am not a good date. I assume." I quietly chuckles and looked up to him.
"I think you are." Joe said.

"What-. What do I need to do that you will go one a date with me?" He asked me. I gave him a smile and sighed.

"You are single since a couple of days Joseph. I think your head will be with her." I said and he looked to the ground to let out a chuckle.
"You think I still have feelings for her right?" Joe asked and I nodded.

"I don't. You are wrong about that. I-. Well I haven't told you the full story about me and Zoe. I got to know her in a bar. I was out with a good mate and she was there. She asked me out. I thought, okay, maybe it can be something. We dated a few weeks and she asked me to be her boyfriend. I accepted. But you know? How do I say that." Joe sighed and had a quick look up into the sky.

"It needs time to love someone. For me, being in love and loving someone isn't the same. When you are in love, you try your best, that the other one likes you. And when you love someone, it doesn't matter how you look like. It doesn't matter if you have stains on your shirt or not. It just doesn't matter anymore. Because you two love each other. And I didn't loved her. I told her that to make her feel okay. But I never loved her that much. I was in love with her. But only when I was cuddling with her. The other times not. She was possessive. She wanted me to be perfect. But I can't be perfect. No one can. And I am just a human. I couldn't give her the perfectness she needed. And she was getting on my nerves with that. I tried to break up with her but she literally claimed me. And now, I am actually thankful that I am a cheater in her eyes. Because she left." Joe told me and while he was talking I saw his eyes tearing a bit up.

"I never loved her." He added and I nodded.

"I know what you want to tell me with that Joe. But maybe you need more time. Like, time to find yourself again." I said and he gave me a confused look.
"I am being me." He said and I smiled.
"I know you are." I nearly whispered.

"So you are turning me down right?" Joe asked me.
"I think so." I told him and he nodded.
"I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be sorry. I mean. I am sorry." He chuckled.
"Nah. You don't need to be sorry. It's alright." Joe laughed.
I knew that he was covering up his emotions completely.
I sighed and spread my arms. He instantly accepted the offer and hugged me thight.

I ended up, with my head resting on his chest, watching the moonlight on the water surface.
"Will you still take a bath?" I asked Joe and he chuckled.
"I don't I was joking." He sighed and started to move his hand over my arm.
"Your skin is so cold." Joe told me and I nodded.

He moved so that I took my head off his chest. Joe took of his jacket and placed it around my shoulders.
"Thank you." I nearly whispered and placed my head back on his chest.

I could've punched myself for turning him down. But I want to give him some time. To think about everything.

"Are you okay?" I asked Joe.
"Yeah. Totally. I am okay." He said. His voice was vibrating through his whole body again. It felt good to be in his arms.
"Are you being honest?" I asked him and started to feel his head shaking.

"No. No I'm not." He told me removed his hand from my arm. I looked at him and sat up straight.

"Is it because I said no?" I asked him and he took a breath before he started to talk.
"It's everything I guess. It's the talk with Jamie I had. And with you combined." Joe told me.
"If you tell me what you two talked about, maybe I can help." I grinned and Joe just chuckled.
"I won't tell you a thing. Believe me." Joe moved his hand over his chin and looked at me. He was different. Since he told me, that he's not okay, hes different.

"Shall we go inside again?" I asked him and he started nodding.
"Sadie will be disappointed now." I told Joe and giggled.
"Why's that? Because Jamie will be too. Maybe we have talked about the same things right?" Joe asked and I stopped walking to look at him. He sounded like he is a mixture of mad and sad. It didn't sounded good at all.

"Maybe we did yes." I told him and he nodded. I slowly took his jacket off and gave it back to him.
"Thanks." He nodded.

We walked inside and as Sadie saw us, her big grin vanished pretty fast. Jamie stood up, looked all happy and jumped towards us like he turned into a fairy. He took joe by his arm and pulled him away.

"Do you fight?" Sadie asked me as I sat down next to her.
"What? No." I chuckled.
"He asked me out but I said no." I told her quiet.
"Oh my god. Why?" She asked me.
"Don't you think it's a bit too early after knowing each other for three days?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"Do you know what people on Tinder are like? They have a few text messages and then go on a date. Of course it's not too early." She told me with a smile.

I saw how Joe and Jamie also sat down again.
"I don't know Sadie. It's different I guess."
I told her and she nodded.

"Hey Jill, I wanted to head home now. Shall I give you a drive?" I looked up to see Joe.
"Yes sure. Just let me say goodbye really quick." I smiled at him and then turned back to Sadie, to give her a big hug.
We even exchanged our numbers so we could text each other anytime. After I said bye to everyone me and Joe went back to his car.

It was deadly silent, throughout the whole drive. Not a single word.

"Have a good rest okay?" Joe told me and I nodded.
"Thank you, you too." I said back and went out of the car. I didn't knew if a hug would be cool now. So I just didn't hugged him. I waved and watched him drive away.