Are You Sure? (Marina)

Eight.

Carina

I sat looking at Maya's message with her address on it. It was close by so if I left right now I'd get there in no more than 10 minutes. What had me still in my office chair was the way we had left things over a week ago. This is the first time she reached out and I couldn't help but be hesitant. It was hot and cold with her. I didn't need this, I should be smarter.

I swirled around my chair for another while, letting the medication settle a little around my body, tapping my phone against the desk, trying to fight the urge in my body from going. She sounded winded and in pain. Fuck it. I'm going to go see what she wants and tell her I can't do it. I am not around to be played with.

I grabbed my keys and walked out towards the parking lot. I was over taking a cab to work so I had cleared myself to go back to driving. I'd foregone the cane because it was making me feel 40 years older, so I'm going to own the limp. The drive was quicker than expected, seeing as how she lived so close to the station and the hospital. I parked my car and took my coat from the back of the passenger seat to walk into the building.

She was also apartment number 7 which made me actually laughed a little. I knocked on the door and took a step back while she came to open it. The time between me knocking and her answering seemed to be moving to slow for my liking. The more I waited the more I started to feel idiotic for coming in the first place after the way we left things. I blamed the lack of restraint on the pills in my system. Before I could turn around she answered the door.

When Maya opened the door she instantly flashed me an apologetic smiled at me but I was still mad. "Hi."

"Ciao." It left my mouth dryly but it's all I had.

"Come in." She moved to the side and I couldn't help the way finding her in a tank top and running shorts with wet hair made me feel. I walked in and her apartment was nice, a hallway led to the living room and then to the rooms. You could see the living room from the kitchen. It was really nice. "How's your umm leg? You look umm— you're walking, thats good."

With pain killers I could probably work, but Miranda still seemed unconvinced about my progress. "It's fine. What's going on Maya?" I turned around from where I stood in her apartment hallway after she closed the door. I slowly took off my coat because the heat in here was a little much. I could blame the steam of Maya's shower still lingering in the air, but I knew it was the tension ever present between us.

Maya's eyes fell over my body and landed on my leg, "Have you umm had spasms?" Her voice was shaky and she was leaning against her door.

I wasn't mad anymore. I was pissed. "I'm leaving."

"What!? Why!?" Her eyes widened and pressed herself into the door more. As a way to prevent me from leaving.

"Maya, I didn't come here for sex. You can't treat me like you did and then expect me to come and have sex with you. You sounded not okay but if this is all you want from me then—"

"Carina.. yes okay. I—" she closed her eyes and her leg shook as if considering her words carefully. Then her eyes opened and they were soft and washed over. "You study orgasms for pain management, right? Well I need some pain management and my other methods aren't working so I need you. I didn't want someone else because I want you." I forced out hot air and ran my hand through my hair. This is why I don't listen to my heart.

Now I was mad at her because this isn't what I came her for or wanted to hear from her. Yet I could see the pain behind her eyes, how evident whatever had happened was bothering her, and as much as I was mad I wanted to help her. It just made me feel disposable, that she somehow felt like I wasn't hers to use when she wanted. I was so much more. "Maya, I am more than just a booty call and I am not friends with rude people. So.." I moved towards the door and she leaned against it, not letting me out, "Can you—"