Are You Sure? (Marina)

Forty-Two.

TW: References to drug use/abuse, SA and suicidal thought/attempts. Please read at your own discretion! ⚠️
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Carina

The halls of the hospital contained every face I knew except for the one I was looking for. Andrew didn't answer my calls yesterday or my texts this morning. His name wasn't on the OR board, and I couldn't find him anywhere.

Without further recourses, I walked up to Meredith's office and knocked on the door. "Come in." I opened the door and I looked from her to Zola who was doing her homework on the table by the couch.

"Hi Zola." I waved at the small child.

"Ciao Carina." I smiled at her because it was obvious she'd learned that from Andrea, I turned my attention back to Meredith who had stood up from her desk.

"Hai guardato Andrea?" She knew Italian and I didn't want to bring up old wounds around her children who most likely sensed the distance.

She was going to talk when she looked back at her daughter, "Zola, can you go get us some ice cream from the kitchen?"

Zola jumped up and with a smile from ear to ear, "Grown up talks got it, I'll get us chocolate."

"Thanks Zo," she said at her daughter and waited till she left before looking back at me, "Not for like a week."

"A week? He said you two broke up 3 days ago. What do you mean a week?" I crossed my arms confused.

"We did, but over a fight we had a week ago. He's not taking his meds and-"

"I'm sorry, he's not taking his medication and you didn't think to tell me this? Che cazzo?" I gestured at her and she put her hands together

"I tried, after the meeting." She pointed her interlocked hands at me as if that was a sufficient excuse. I scoffed at her response.

"That's something that you should have told me a week ago! He's not at work. I don't know where my brother is Meredith!" I threw my hands in the air and grunted before I turned around and left her office, hearing my name behind me.

He'd not been at work for the last two days and no one had been able to get ahold of him. I knocked on Bailey's door, making my rounds of all his bosses apparently, trying to track down my stupid little brother. "Ciao."

"DeLuca, are you here to tell me where your brother is?" She went on typing on her computer. Stopping only to see me pacing in her office, "Well, speak!"

There was no better way to explain than the truth, I hated lying, it made me anxious. "I haven't seen him in 3 days. I was hoping he'd asked you for time off. If not I'm here to ask you for some on his behalf, I will also need a couple to get him back to work." I pushed my hand through my hair, "Or rather tell you Dr. Dominguez will cover my service while I find my brother and get him back to work."

"He's not to step back on the surgical floor without psychological clearance." Of course she read between the lines of my request.

"Understood." I turned and walked back to my office to get my things. I quickly dialed Maya, she'd told me not to worry and now that's all I was doing. It wasn't her fault, to a normal person it's normal for people to take some distance, but I knew my brother. He was not well.

When I got to my office and grabbed my purse, I found myself looking up at the cup sitting on my top shelf, in a split second I took the baggie it held and put it the my pocket of my tan brown coat.

I called Maya three more times, only finding her voicemail each time. I quickly sent her a text as I exited the hospital and walked to my car. I'd already let Dominguez know to cover my service or send Wilson for my uncomplicated patients. In the back of my mind I grew worry for Maya, knowing she was mostly likely on call that required all her attention. The people I loved most in the world seemed to be in their own world of danger and it scared me.