C.R.E.W

Chapter 10 ~ Arguments

       Laying in bed has never been more frustrating. I just left the mall with my mom after having another bathroom episode. I'm starting to think I'm actually going crazy...is this all a dream? Am I just zoning out? Is she right...are they all right?

                                           ~~~

I went downstairs and overheard my mom, once again, talking on the phone with someone.

"I don't know?! I ... is she really? ... Does she need to? ... Is this really necessary?" She was in disbelief, at least...she wanted to be.

I started ignoring the conversation but one of the things she said really caught my attention, "Just, make sure she's my little girl again, okay." This was an order. "...love, you," she blew a kiss to the phone while tracing her finger on the granite countertop.

I was shocked. I assumed she was talking to my dad and didn't think too much of it, since my head was already spinning. I went back upstairs and hopped on my computer. I tucked my hair behind my left ear and let my head rest against the palm of my hand. I opened a few games but closed them out because, I was growing bored of each and every one of them. After what happened at the mall, I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating, or I was just going crazy. I put it aside like every other problem I have in life and shifted my gaze to my mother leaning on my doorframe.

"Are we going to do this all week?" I asked taking my headphones off.

"Do what all week?" She asked.

"You standing at my doorframe," I replied, 'after getting off the phone.' I thought.

"Well, you're always up here and you rarely ever come down." She responded.

"I come down for dinner." I protested.

She sighed and rested her head on the doorframe, "that's not my point."

"Then, what is your point, mom?" I rose an eyebrow and gave her my full attention.

She took a deep breath, "I just want to check on you," she gave me a reassuring smile.

"Why check up on me? Am I a dog?" I asked rapidly.

"No, no!" She awoke from her restful position, realizing laying it down on me was not going to work.

"Then, why am I always treated like one!? Huh?! Why am I always treated like I'm a pet!?" I stuttered while yelling.

"You're not." Her voice was almost a whisper compared to mine as it was getting buried in the conversation.

"The phone calls, the act of treatment, school!! Bullies!! Getting beat up when I go to the mall." I started tearing up at this point. My head hurt and I couldn't change any of what I had just said.

"Phone calls? What phone calls?!" She quietly whispered.

"The ph-" I stopped, my jaw trembling.

"What phone calls, Prixley?" She asked through gritted teeth.

My jaw trembled and I couldn't speak. I started to cry.

"Prixley Eliana Ereya Morgan, what phone calls?" She wasn't asking, she was demanding.

The only thing that had moved on my body were my jaw and the tears escaping my eyes. Why was I crying? Was it because, my mom was yelling at me, or maybe it was because she was demanding something out of me? Was it because, I knew she was talking to my therapist at one point? Was it because, she thinks I'm not me anymore? How about all of the above.

"Fine!" She yelled and punched the doorframe on the way out.

I full on started crying and stroked my fingers through my hair as my head hurt and my eyes started swelling. I felt my tears sticking to my skin. I rested my head down into my arms and cried. My wobbly wooden table moving side to side, my leg bouncing up and down, my head pounding in every direction, my heart beating as loud as possible. I wanted to talk and calm myself down, but every thought I had made my head hurt even more. I sat there, crying, sobbing, wailing, confused as to why I was crying this much. My dark gray sleeves were soaking wet with tears. My eyes were wet and had dried tears all around them. I sniffled and knew my face was red. My lips were chapped and my nose was clogged. The last thing I needed to hear was the doorbell.

I heard the doorbell and instantly froze. My mom kept all of our secrets, now that she's upset, I'm not really relying on her to keep our secrets in this exact moment. I crawled onto my bed and laid there, faced towards the window and back to the door. I sniffled and waited to hear his footsteps make their way upstairs.

As I suspected, they made their way up not too long after he entered the house. I could feel his eyes take a glance and quick stop by my door. He made his way to his room to change out of his suit and into something more appropriate. My dad walked in my room and sighed.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" He asked.

"Not exactly." I replied not moving at all.

"Your mom told me something..." he started.

"I don't care what mom said," I replied, feeling tears forming.

"Okay..." he said.

The was a quick pause.

"Do you want to tell dad about something?" He was being slow and patient with me, which was something he had never done before.

"Not really." My voice cracked as I held my tears in.

"Okay." He exhaled and rubbed my arm gently.

He boarded my bed with caution and paused, but eventually laid down and set his head on the half of the pillow that wasn't occupied. He continued to rub my arm and breath loudly.

"Dad..." I said, "has mom told you anything about me going back...?" I cried.

"N-no, she hasn't...why?" He asked.

I cried and felt my chest move back and forth as my nose got stuffy again. I sniffled and knew he heard me but hoped he didn't.

He kissed my cheek and sighed, "I love you, Angel."

I cried and didn't respond, but I responded perfectly in my head.