The Exchange

Scissors

As Abhi left to the bathroom to take a shower, she looked at herself in the mirror, seeing the oil dripping down from the ends of her hair. The longer she stared at herself, the more unsettled she became, unable to recognize this person...unable to come to terms with who she was. Memories of her chopping her hair off the minute it started to get longer, the minute it started to grow out started flashing through her mind. Memories of her following Dr. Khera and Maya wherever they went...memories of being at their mercy...memories of not uttering a single word...memories of being a ghost. 

She felt her heartbeat speed up and a sudden urge to chop off all her hair filled her entire being. She did not want her hair back...she did not want her old self back...because she did not think that she could handle that...she did not think that it would even be possible. She had only one thought...she needed to find scissors right now....

She started digging through the drawers of the hotel, going through Abhi's things on the dressing table, throwing everything within sight in desperate search of the only thing she thought could make her calm down...she needed to see the strands of hair falling off her head just as she had for almost every other day of the past year...she grabbed the towel from the chair, wiping off the oil as frantically as she could, her hands trembling, her entire body shaking... 

Hearing the ruckus outside, Abhi's heart started racing and he came running out to see her pacing around the room, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

"Akshu, Akshu....please calm down..Akshu idhar aao...Akshu kya hua", he asked, trying his best to keep his voice steady, trying his best to hold himself together...he could not let himself break...he had to be strong for her. 

"Abhi...mujhe nahi chaiye yeh baal...please Abhi...Abhi yeh oil nikalo mere baalon se...please Abhi...mujhe nahi chaiye...", she sobbed gently into his chest...

"Akshu...idhar dekho...meri ankoon mein dekho....Akshu saans lo..." he said softly stroking her hair. 

Once she had finally started to calm down, he took her into the bathroom and tenderly shampooed the oil out of her hair, kissing her hair, her forehead...he looked at the water dripping down her face and told her, "dekho Akshu...tum ne kaha na ki mein yeh oil nikaloon...nikal diya tumhare liye..." forcing a smile to his face. 

She looked at him uneasily and then looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "Sorry Abhi...woh mein ne bahar jo kiya...I'm sorry...."...she whispered, realizing how much her actions, her words would have hurt him...realizing that she had to try piecing herself back together for him...she had to try to make herself whole again for him...she knew how much it was killing him to see her like this...she had to control herself, her emotions...she had to give it a chance. 

As he wrapped a towel around her and dried her hair, he told her, "Akshu..aaj ke baad tum mujhe sorry bolne ki sochna bhi maat..Akshu hum is jaang mein ek saath hain..aur Akshu tumhe jitna waqt chaiye na, tum utna waqt lo...mein yahin hoon...mein kahin nahi jaa raha..." 

With that, he picked her up and placed her gently on the bed, patting her forehead, stroking her palms until she fell asleep. Once he saw that her eyes were closed and she was peacefully dozed off, he finally let the tears he had been holding back fall...making sure to make not a single sound while he cried.