Indecisive

22

Grayson POV
3 months later
June, 9th 2023
Time 5:45am

Dear Mom,

I decided to steal Delilah's idea writing to you like she writes to her Grandma since this is your old journal. I've been missing you more than usual lately.  I don't why, I think it's because I've been hanging out with Remi more, she reminds me of you at lot.

She sometimes says things that remind me... of you.

It's currently 5:48 in the morning and your death date is tomorrow, it's almost been 5 years but it still feels like yesterday when they told me.

Looking back at that day it's feels like a fever dream, I can only really remember bits and pieces.

From waking up that morning to you making me breakfast.

From you kissing me goodbye, leaving for work.

I don't know why... but I feel like you knew.

You knew that, that morning going to work that you'd never see me again... you'd never see me and Daphé again.

The look you gave me.

That look, wasn't a look of I'll see you when I get off work it was a look, a look of goodbye.. forever.

They say it was an accident.. that the car crash wasn't intentional... but deep down I always thought you did it on purpose to get away from him.

You always tell me to do my best, and I'm trying... but it's hard without your words of encouragement.

I know you want the best for me, regardless if that's getting a scholarship in baseball, or going to college for something else. You want the best for me.

I love you mom.

Sincerely, Grayson.

I placed the her journal back into my drawer, and hit the light switch falling back on to my bed in the darkness.

My eyes began to feel heavy, as my body drifted into a sleeping state.

*~*

Nearly 5 years ago
Sunday, June 10th 2018

7:45am

"Hey Gray, wake up your going to your grandma's today for church", my mother stated shaking my arm.

"Huh", I replied half awake.

"Your going to your grandma's, you and Daphé. Get dressed I'm dropping you off before I head in for work".

"I made breakfast too, hurry I don't have all day", she stated shutting my bedroom door behind her.

Turning over in the bed I groaned loudly reaching for my phone.

The time read 7:46 am.

I quickly hopped out of bed, rushing around my room for clothes to put on.

I knew my mom had to be at work on the weekends at 8:00am everyday, and she took her job very seriously since she was a nurse. My grandma's house was about 10 minutes away, I knew I wouldn't have time to eat breakfast, so I quickly stuffed my clothes in my backpack and grabbed my phone heading down the stairs to the kitchen.

Daphé was seated at the kitchen table eating, as I rushed over to grab an apple.

"Why are moving so fast", she asked me confused.

"Because, mom said she was taking us to grandma, before work".

"Did you even brush your teeth Grayson, God", she stated rolling her eyes.