Indecisive

30

Delilah POV's
Sep 16th 2023
Time: 2:50Pm

I've felt so guilty since last weekend. And the guilt isn't even from lying to Grayson it's guilt from enjoying what happened in the closet.

I've avoided Mateo at school all week, and it's hard given the fact that we're in the same friend group plus lunch and the one class I share with him.

I mean it's not like he's been trying to speak to me anyway, which makes it even harder.

I don't want him to speak to me...but I wouldn't mind it if he did.

We make eye contact from time to time... but I don't know.

Today Maria wants me to come over to her house to study for a chemistry test... I like Maria a lot... a lot more than any of the friends in the friend group honestly.

She makes me feel welcomed and I appreciate that.

But I'm nervous about today, because Maria and Mateo are siblings... twins to be exact, which most likely means he'll be there too.

I haven't spoken to Grayson since Wednesday, I've been avoiding his calls and text messages.

He knows something is up. I just can't make myself conversate with him after what happen.

I lace my shoes and grab my car keys off of my nightstand.

I glaze at my journal on the nightstand as well.

I haven't written since I moved, which was 3 months ago.

I sit down and turn to a blank page.

Dear Grandma,

I'm sorry, I haven't written to you in a while. In fact I haven't written to you since I moved. I know the last time I wrote to you, I explained how I wasn't going to like my new town/ school, but I kinda do. I've made friends, a few actually. I've met a boy too, unfortunately. He's not your typical boy either.

He came in and damaged a few things. Personally my future relationship with Grayson.

I've been in love with Grayson for years, and finally things are turning out right. He's confessed his feeling to me. And I've confessed my feeling to him. We both know how much we like each other. It's just a little difficult given the fact that I've moved, but it's nothing that we couldn't have worked on. But now that Mateo( the boy) has came into the picture he's made it a little difficult... I should correct myself.... he's made it MORE difficult because... of something he did.

It's a long story... anyways... I hope you're doing well Grandma... cause I'm not.

signed Delilah.

I slide my journal inside my backpack and take it with me, as I grab the rest of my things and walk to my car.

*~*
I knock on the door softly and of course Mateo opens the door.

"Delilah", he stated looking me up and down.

"Mateo", I replied matching his energy.

"Maria's not here".

"Well, where is she".

"She went to drop Janae off at work...she'll be back in about 5 minutes", he stated widening the door for me to enter.