Save Me

1| Lauren

My foot repeatedly tapped on the carpet floor as my eyes focused heavily on a piece of lent that rested on my jean jacket.

"Lauren, you there?"

I looked up and Dr. Hubert was sitting across from me with a pad in her hand. I sighed and shook my head. It was becoming ridiculous how often I would come in for an hour a week and not say a word to her about anything pertaining to me.

"Yeah, I'm here," I finally answered while shifting my body to sit up straight.

"Okay, great. What do you want to talk about today?"

Dr. Hubert had got so used to me deferring and not talking about myself, that she was ready for our usual dissection of everything pop culture. I couldn't help but to crack a small smile. I fondled with my fingers and said the words that I thought I'd never give in and say to her.

"I'm think I'm ready to talk," I mumbled.

"To talk about you?"

I simply shook my head, waiting for her to start with her line of questioning, but nervous in the process.

"How long have you been married?"

"How'd you know I was married?" I asked with my brows arched, curious to know her answer. Dr. Hubert pointed and I glanced down to see that she was referring to my wedding band on my hand. I had forgotten that I still was wearing it at this point.

"Nine, almost ten years..."

"Wow, that's incredible. You must've married young considering you're only 28," she gathered.

"Yeah, right out of high school."

"How has that worked out for you two thus far?" she questioned me and I shrugged.

"It was decent for majority of the marriage, I guess. People just change as you get older and you start to want different things."

"Was? You're speaking as if your marriage is in the past, Lauren."

"It is. We're separated and have been for a few months now," I finally admitted to Dr. Hubert what I was in denial about.

"But you still choose to wear your wedding band, why is that?"

I started to play with the ring on my finger and wonder the same thing. It wasn't like I wanted stay in my marriage, at least I don't think so...

"I guess it's a familiarity thing. I've never taken it off, ever. So, it never crossed my mind to do it now."

Dr. Hubert wrote in her pad and I was curious to know what the hell she was writing about me in it. I think she caught my staring and placed it down on the table beside her.

"Are you still in love with your husband, Lauren?"

"Christian is my son's father, I'll always love him" I replied honestly.

Dr. Hubert nodded. "That's understandable, but are you in love with your husband still?"

I hesitated to answer her question. "Um, I don't know. I just can't be his wife right now. T-Too much happened."

"What happened?"

"A lot. I mean, the cheating in the beginning was expected. He's a pro athlete and he wasn't home too often, so that never surprised me."

"You were okay with his cheating?" I sighed deeply.

"I tolerated it...because he never brought his mess home most of the time," I finally confessed.