A dive bar and a dreamer

Secrets and smoke

Eddie looked at me with those vast brown eyes full of questions and concerns. We had barely spoken to each other the past few months and never throughout school. I didn't start public school until mid way through freshman year, after the education really looked into my "curriculum" that my parents had been using for my educuation. Eddie was in my grade, but still two years older than me , so me being me let that tell me all I needed to know about him. The fact that he sold pot, was about 2 years older but still managed to be in the same grade as me and was an aspiring musician, I was not going out of my way to get to know him. But, seeing the softness in his eyes, and the way his forehead wrinkled with concern I couldn't help but cry even harder.

"Here hit this Y/N, I promise it'll help." He softly whispered, never breaking eye contact. I nodded and grabbed the joint with a shaking hand. I took the deepest hit I have ever had, and as soon as I exhaled wnet right back for another. I knew getting high with the town freek wouldn't change the fact that HE was here, mere feet from me only separated by a door. I knew any minute it was going to swing open and he would be coming to find me. My stomach absolutely dropped at the thought of facing him again after two years of absolute bliss without him in my life.

" Thank you for this." I whispered through my pursed lips as I ashed it and passed it back over to him.

"Can I ask what the hell happened? I have watched you work all summer and never seen you drop anything. I have also never seen an emotion other than annoyance come from you sooooo , yeah are you okay?" He seemed so nervous to ask me. I watched his fingers flexing open and closed nervously as he fidgeted with his rings.

" I know the singer , his name is Ray. We dated for a while and things didn't end well at all.'' I stated frankly, hoping that would be enough to suffice him. It was definitely one way to put what had happened, but whatever kindness Eddie had to give would without a doubt evaporate if he knew the entire story.

I felt a tear slip out of my eye and roll down my cheek, as the memories came flooding back. I took my shaking hands and grabbed onto the grass, anchoring myself to this moment, to actual reality as the memories began to echo through my mind. I was sure I was about to completely lose it again and maybe even pass out, but I felt the softest,most tender touch known to man gently wipe the tears from my cheek. The cold metal of hir rings brushing my skin made me shiver. I looked up to meet his gaze , my vision blurry from the tears. The way he looked at me made my heart drop and start skipping beats again, this time though from a feeling I had never felt before. He made his way down from my cheek and gently traced my jawline down to my chin,gently cupping it with his hand while the other wiped the rest of the tears away. We stayed like this for what felt like an eternity. Our eye bearing into one another's sharing the thoughts I couldn't put into words. Eddi shifted his weight with his hips and moved forward. "

"HOLY SHIT EDDIE MUNSON IS ABOUT TO KISS ME!!!" My brain screamed, but I made no move to stop him. Why wasn't I stopping him, this is insane. But, before I had the chance to work out how I should nonchalantly flee into the woods, he turned his head to the side and dropped his hand from my chin and gave me the tightest, most comforting hug I have ever felt. It was like every atom in my body was lit with a burning passion to feel him like this forever. I let myself breathe in his scent, cigarettes, weed and some kind of cologne that made me almost drool. His curly hair brushing against my ear and shoulder had my breath catching in my throat, it had to be the weed. I got way too high too fast and now I'm just imagining his touch is doing this to me. Eddie pulled away and awkwardly went pack to plucking at his rings. We sat in comfortable silence for a long time before I was the one to speak up.

" He was an asshole to me,but in the end I deserved what I got because I ruined everything for him. No matter what was happening I ruined it especially at the end.'' I blurted out in a monotone voice before I could catch myself.

" Sweetheart, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. It isn't my place to be nosy. I also won't judge a damn thing if you do want to talk about it, but that right there that you just said. Who are you trying to convince Y/N, me or you?' Eddie questioned softly, pulling my hand into his slowly. He began tracing little shapes on my palm, staring at it,avoiding looking at me. I struggled to catch my breath mostly because his touch was awakening that feeling in me again, but also because he was right. I mostly think of the things Ray did to me in that way to keep me from losing it. If I didn't find a way to blame myself, the anger and grief would consume me. It was much easier to just blame myself and move on. Having Eddie see through that so easily, something inside of me broke like a dam busting the tears started again and I opened and closed my mouth several times before taking a deep breath and closing my eyes.

" I... '' began to stutter out, but as I did the side door flew open and there stood Ray. He looked as evil as I remembered,maybe even more so. His jet black hair hanging down over his eyes, wavy from sweating during the show. He was muscular and about 6ft tall, wearing a pair of combat boots with tight dark wash jeans. Ray had no shirt on and his abs glistened in the light of the moon and streetlight. Once upon a time I thought this man was god's gift to me, but now all I wanted to do was puke. His muscles twitched as he stared down at me. I hadn't noticed that I jumped into Eddie's lap when he had appeared.

He smirked and moved his eyes from mine over to Eddie as he watched Eddie wrap his arms around my waist so tightly I almost couldn't breathe. He gave Eddie a slow once over snickering as he turned back to me while he addressed Eddie

" If you ever want to go anywhere in life I suggest you drop that whore from your lap. She will ruin everything for you and then walk out on you as you pick up the pieces" Ray cruelly sneered. I felt my heart drop instantly. I wasn't sure what I was feeling towards Eddie tonight had been a roller coaster of emotions,mixed with weed and booze. I knew though it didn't matter anymore. Ray made a promise two years ago that he would destroy my life in every possible way until his dying breath. After two years of nothing I had hoped I was finally free enough, that those words were an empty promise. As he took a step closer, leaning over me looking down with disguist, I knew this was the beginning of a fresh hell worse than I could have ever imagined.