A dive bar and a dreamer

Light My Way

The gravel is crunching under my feet as I head towards the side entrance of the hide out. Stopping to take the last few hits off my cigarette I find myself scanning the parking lot for Eddie's van. Corroded wasn't playing tonight, but he had made sure to ask me when I was working again before he left yesterday. Part of me is hoping that meant he was going to come and see me, but the bigger part of me thinks he wanted to know so he could avoid an awkward run-in. I haven't heard from him since trauma dumping on him, and I can't say I'm surprised. It's one thing to say you want to be around when and be there for someone when that person is in shambles right in your face. You feel like you need to say something, to make them feel better. But, once you aren't in that high emotion moment, and you don't have to see the pain pouring out of them, you have a moment to think. Eddie probably went home and thought everything over and knew he would be better to cut his losses and run. I don't blame him, I've spent everyday since that moment trying to run from it, to run from myself.

Loud talking and blaring music greet me as I pull open the door, flicking the butt and giving one last hopeful glance to the parking lot. I tighten my ponytail as I step behind the bar and look at the list. Thankfully with it being one of the slower nights of the week Sam had taken off to have dinner with his wife and I get to be behind the bar. This was perfect; the bar area usually stayed a little busier on the slower nights since there wasn't a band filling up the front. Everyone in there on a night like tonight is usually a regular more or less and they go to the bar to sit around and bullshit. Lots of small talk and drinks would definitely keep my mind busy.

I got my wish as soon as I tie my apron the orders start flowing. I pour beer after beer , listening to the men talk about how back in their day things were so much different. Most of it is making me laugh and I join in occasionally, but one guy on the end just keeps going on about women being much less attractive nowadays due to their dressing and overall attitudes. I try to bite my tongue and keep my head down on this subject and focus on cleaning the glasses. Luckily the door opens and what sounds like a large group of guys coming in, turns into familiar voices as they get closer.

I look up to see Steve, Dustin, Mike, Will, Jonathan and Jim Hopper in front of me. There were also two faces I didn't recognize tagging along. They're all laughing and shoving each other around.

" So what the hell is the sheriff, the "hair", and a bunch of kids doing in my bar?'' I can't help but laugh, undermining any seriousness I was hoping to give off.

" Well, the sheriff here is getting married on Saturday!" Steve shouts, giving Hoppers shoulders a squeeze and shake. The smile spreading across his face was infectious and quickly spread over the face of the byers boys.

" I am I am, I know it's a few days early , but Joyce has so much stuff on her list for us to get done we had to schedule some fun in where we could find it"

" I thought you guys were doing a laid back kind of thing? Isn't that what she said when you proposed" I ask nosily, I remember Robin relaying the story after it happened and I'm pretty sure it sounded like it would end up being a justice of the peace kind of wedding.

" Well, mom at first did want something small and not a big deal. But, the more her and nance and her other friends talked it got bigger and bigger." Jonathan gives Hopper an apologetic smile, knowing Nancy was the biggest culprit behind the shift in plans.

" Well what can I get for you guys?" Dustin and the boys give me big toothy grins

" Okay let me rephrase that, what can I get the guys of age to drink?"

" Can we just get a round of beers , and a vodka soda for my friend Dimitri please and thank you.'' I Start grabbing glasses when Hoppers balding friend speaks up

" Actually Jim, thank you for trying to order for me, not obnoxious at all, but I will have a nice dry martini. I'm going to need it to get me through the insanity of listening to Joyce try and decide if she wants her hair up or down, or Jim constantly trying to decide if his socks go with his mustache." I'm not sure who this guy is, but I can't tell If he is being rude or thinks he is hilarious. The way the other guys are laughing it must be the latter.

" Don't worry about Murray, he's a lot to take in all at once, especially sober. But I can't think of a better man to be my best man." He gives Murray a playful shove, and you can see in his eyes that though the tone was light, Hopper meant every word of it.

I hand them their drinks and they continue to sit and talk about the wedding, how excited they are about it and life afterwards as a blended family. Hearing Hopper talk about Joyce the way he does, makes my heart ache a little. Wondering if that is something I could ever have, would I ever be the thing someone cares most about, that just puts the light into their eyes anytime they get to bring me up in a conversation. I'm barely paying attention lost in my own thoughts when I hear Dustin mention Eddie's name. I quickly start listening in and hear that Corroded Coffin is playing a few songs at the reception, and that Eddie had them start rehearsing last night and has basically been running a non stop rehearsal since.

" They're going to be fine. I don't know why he has to go off the grid to practice like this for a wedding." Dustin is seething with jealousy, the kid hates being ignored, even if it is for good reasons.

" Well you know how he loves to have everything perfect, DND campaigns, songs, asking out the girl he is insanely into to be his girlfriend." The glass in my hand shatters on the floor as Mike's words take me by shock. Is he referring to a past girlfriend , or a future one. Or maybe he was referring to Eddie's plan prior to our date ending the way it did. I feel my mind completely spinning out with all of the possibilities, I don't notice everyone looking at me as I just stare at the pieces on the floor.

" Hey you okay Y/N?" Steve is slipping over the bar as I'm trying to get the broom out.

" I'm fine, I just lost my grip." avoiding his eyes as best as I can I bend down and start sweeping

" He never called, did he? I thought something was up when you never came to give Robin and I a rundown of how the date went."

" It was fine, we had fun, but I think I overshared and probably blew any chance I had with him. But oh fucking well right, plenty of fish in the sea. I think I am going to take my break now. It's almost 11:30 so I need to do it before the late night crowd shows up."

Steve looks at the semi empty bar and looks back at me. Concern is written all over his face, but he knows me well enough to know I'm doing what I do best and running from a hard conversation. He doesn't know details but he knows I'm full of stuff I don't talk about and this can just be added to the list. I shove my way to the side door and walk into the night pulling a cigarette from behind my ear as I squat down to smoke. Digging through every pocket I have, including my bra I realize my lighter must be in my bag behind the bar. With a huge sigh of frustration, I brace myself to stand back up when a lighter is lit right in front of the cigarette dangling from my lips.

" Do you need a light Y/N?"