Misfits (#2)

19.

It's day one of Mission Isolation. That's what I'm calling it. I tried thinking of a cooler name but came up with nothing. Nada. So MI it is.

I'm trying to keep myself happy, or as happy as I can be with the constant reminders on my face. I don't want to mope so I'm occupying myself. I took my hamster on a tour of the manor since she never sees it often. I played with Leia in the lounge rooms and watched a few episodes of Battlestar Galactica.

Nobody's home. Grayson's at his private college, Sage is at work, Azure's at school and I don't know where mom is. I'm just glad I don't have to face her.

I turn a corner, stalking down an empty hallway with Leia curled against my chest. It's long and empty, barring the large paintings on the wall. My feet, on their own accord, start to move more flawlessly. One step after another and though I don't have pointe shoes on, I lift onto the tips of my toes.

I move slowly, a little apprehensively so I'm not technically dancing. Just moving in a...dancey way, I guess. I miss it. My legs and my torso reminisce over the feeling of being so weightless.

I stop in front of a large floor-to-ceiling window and slowly, allow my back to curve. Testing the waters. Remembering the weightlessness. I shut my eyes and remember how long it took me to perfect en pointe.

Holding all of your body weight on your feet isn't an easy feat and took me a while to perfect the technique, though it takes a lot of dancers years. My favourite stands to always be fouettés. Spins where your leg is extended, one of the most difficult turns.

Ballet is intense. Graceful but damaging. Effortless but requiring insane amount of body strength. Perfect looking but with its hidden complications. I think I've always resonated with that.

Leia mewls against me so I sit on the small windowsill under the window and cross my legs-

"What are you doing?"

I jump out of my skin and snap my head besides me, to Ruth. Jesus, she looks scary a lot of the time. All of her features are dark but her eyes are a deep, midnight blue. She's already seen my face and I already told her the excuse so she's not looking at me like I'm a horror anymore.

"Sitting." I swallow, "With my monstrosity."

She visibly grimaces when she looks down to Leia. Ruth just stands there, dead silent and watching me with her hawk eyes. I shift and then smile awkwardly, "Hi?"

"Lunch." Is all she says.

"Are you gonna keep standing there or-"

"Hush." She lifts her chin, and struts away.

What an odd, odd woman. I just sit there and watch as she walks, in sort of awe. She's an oddball but she can be kinda nice sometimes. Always so stoic and sharp. And has never got along with mom.

I keep Leia in my arms and walk down the hallways until I reach the kitchen and take my plate of food. Mother kept me on a strict diet once I started dancing and even thought I've stopped, she looks at me like I'm committing a crime whenever I consume excess sugar or processed foods.

But I hate veggies. So I just resort to not eating a lot of the time, instead.

As I walk further in, I spot the curly-haired maid and a smile lights up my face, which is still sore so that hurt a bit. I approach her and she turns around.

And then she jumps out of her skin, stumbling backwards.

I know I look bad and I should get over the feeling of dejection but it still runs through me so strongly that I want to sink into myself. I feel disgusting. I quickly apologise, "I'm sorry."