Misfits (#2)

57.

Violet.

I smile at all of the girls similarly dressed in our black leotards, lifting my tote bag higher over my shoulder. I've donned a thick, cashmere coat over the top. October's cold has started to seep in and as I walk away from the group of them, dark leaves crackle under my feet.

Rockley looks a lot more like a castle as autumn has arrived. The tree's leaves have started to fall, pooling in orange groups at the bottom and floating around the cobblestone floors. Dreary skies and clouds that look moments away from dropping rain.

The walk back to Lenora Hall after evening rehearsals are always my favourite. The campus is quieter than afternoon practices, or morning ones. None of the girls share the same dorm as me, though I see them most of the day anyway.

Ballet's become everything. Just like it was when I was younger.

My body's needed to become accustomed to it again but I haven't lost my edge. Ever since my first class a month ago, I was roped right back into the first thing I ever loved. It's like I never left.

Now, I'm wearing leotards and pointe shoes half the time, rushing into lectures late since we always run over the time. Blisters have returned to my feet and they ache, a lot of the time but it was always something I treasured. Like evidence of my effort. I've made a name for myself in the arts at Rockley, detached from my mother's legacy.

Sometimes, I still think of Auburn. Sometimes the shame wants to come back. I try, hard, not to let it.

I hold my coat around me tighter as the wind picks up, hurrying into Lenora Hall and up into my room. I shut the door behind me and hang my coat up, thankful that it's warmer in here. Leia mewls at my feet and I pick her up, cradling her in my arm.

Daphne's not around so I perch on the edge of my bed, smiling down at my girl who nuzzles against my skin. Once I've given her some love, I tend to the pointe shoes on my feet. They're new so I've had to break them in over the past week.

I pull the wool out that I use for padding and undo the ribbons around my ankles, stretching the joints out and wincing as they ache. I need a warm shower. Like a good, warm shower but that means I have to stand on said feet and I just wanna fall asleep right now.

My phone starts ringing. And my heart falls in my chest. I freeze.

I hate the sound of that phone. I hate the phone, given to me by Dean a while ago. He has dominion over which contacts I have, and don't. The only time I get a call is if it's him.

Time has passed and I've morphed into what he wants so he leaves me alone. Content only when I'm hidden away in a ballet studio. And I tried to kid myself at first but no matter how long its been, the people I've left behind feel like an ache in my chest.

But I don't think about them anymore. The only way I get by is if I force myself not to. It's the only way I can keep breathing. They're the past. A once-was.

But I look over, surprised.

I have my brother's contacts and Grayson's calling.

I pick it up as fast as humanly possible, holding it to my ear, "Gray?"

"Hey." He says and I shut my eyes. I've called Azure and Sage on a few occasions but not Grayson, as much. The sound of his voice feels unfamiliar now that it's been so long, and that very realisation makes my chest hurt. He's my brother. We lived in the very same house.

"Hi." I say softly.

We're quiet for a minute. Have we turned into strangers? What happens now? It's been so long.