Ultraviolence | Vance Hopper x Reader - The Black Phone FanFiction

Error

You were really living up to it, the whole 'Coke Fiend' persona you had going on or whatever. You've heard the term go around, hear and there. Especially when your mom was still on it, sniffing and snorting anywhere and anytime she could.

Janis, your neighbor across the street even noticed it but she is a druggie herself. "Your mother has got the body of a coke fiend." She said to you once while babysitting you, a big fat cigar in her hand as she watched the television.

You didn't know what it meant, you were a bit younger then. But maybe you could notice or see what Janis was talking about in you. You were eating now, which is good. But you maintained the thinner look somehow. Maybe you're not eating enough, you thought. You felt lucky to keep your thighs though. Vance loves them.

Speaking of Vance, you haven't heard from him since yesterday when you yelled at Halie. As soon as you got home you did some lines. But you fear yourself. You fear for when you would run out. You fear the person you'd become when you suddenly have nothing left to rotten your insides. You hated yourself.

When you looked in the mirror that morning, you did look different. Your circles were slightly fading away, but you still had some darkness there. You washed your hair and curled it the night before, and it looked better. Wavier, thicker, full of life. It looked so ugly when it was thinning out.

The dark circles sort of gave you a sexy smoky eye look, so you weren't complaining. Add some dark lipstick, mascara, blush, a decent outfit and you actually looked hot. That boosted your confidence and made you feel way better about how you're living your life.

"What does that mean?" You asked Janis.

"Promise you won't repeat these words to your mom?" You nodded. "How do you think she gets guys to fuck her? And they pay her because she's that desirable, fuck-able. It's kinda like saying the body of a porn star, but except you can tell she's on cocaine because of how skinny she's gotten."

You scrunch your face, turning your head and see your mother walking in the living room. She smiled and waved while she went out the door without saying goodbye. Your mom looks exactly like you do now. You looked at Janis. "My mom is beautiful."

"And so are you. Own it, kid. You can have all the power in the world with that beauty." Janis's voice is raspy and deep from all of the smoking, but her words dug into you deep.

You let go of those words a long time ago, but now you remember. Even if you are insecure about some things, faking being confident could get you all of the power. And that's how you were gonna do it. That's how you are going to get whatever you want from here on now.

You looked at yourself a few seconds more, standing in front of the bathroom mirror at school. You kneeled over and snorted the line you assembled on the counter and looked back at yourself. "You're a fucking sex symbol." You told yourself, wiping your nose and sniffling.

You weren't, like at all. You planned to be. You planned on being a whole new person to somehow redeem yourself from everything. Losing one of your best friends, your boyfriend, your mom. The abuse and everything. Face it, you're not the same.

"You're turning into your mother."  Dad said. "It's a shame, you had so much potential. And you're just throwing it away."

You didn't listen to him. It's a waste of time listening to people. They're usually the ones who don't have a clue in the fucking world. Pathetic.

"Pathetic." You repeat out loud. You scoffed and shook your head, pushing through the door loudly and causing unwanted but wanted attention to yourself. You basically have no friends, so you really had no one to go to or talk to. That's pathetic.