Ultraviolence | Vance Hopper x Reader - The Black Phone FanFiction

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hey... its been awhile
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It feels like an eternity since the movie date, and I haven't spoken to Y/n in a day or a few. No one's keeping count, but it might've been half a week. How could I go a whole week without talking to Y/n but we go to the same school? That's easy, I avoid her. I dodge her in the hallway, not to say a word in class and pretend I'm busy with school and Hailee. After a while she got the idea and stopped putting in effort to get my attention and my nerves calmed down. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous around her, because I am deeply. Every time she's near, goosebumps grow on my skin and I get anxious. I've only been avoiding her because she's gonna want me to do things I don't want to. Like choke her or hit her across the face. I can't do it, not anymore at least. I realized though that I can't avoid her forever and that eventually I'll have to face her, look her dead in the eyes and say something.

That day might as well be today. We have a pep rally and I could probably catch up with her then, but it'll be hard with Hallie clinging onto my arm. Though she's been distant as well these are the types of things you go to with your partner. Like rallys and games and shit in that category.

"What do you plan on wearing tomorrow?" Hallie sat on the floor of my bedroom while painting her toes and fingernails the school colors.

"I don't know. Clothes."

She rolled her eyes and I hoped they'd get stuck in the back of her head. I hate when she does that. Rolling  her eyes all the time. It's annoying and she does it religiously.

"Take this seriously, Vance. At least wear one of the school colors."

"Hey, be lucky if I even show up at all."

She did it again. "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

She sighed and then I sighed, and that's basically how our conversations go. She rolls her eyes like it's the end of the world and I act as nonchalant as ever. I think she'll eventually see that I'm boring and break up with me. If not, she's a brain dead bimbo with no independence.

For the week I've been free from Y/n, I mostly hung around in my room or at the Grab 'N Go. Not too many buddies or friends or homies to talk to either and then I realized how lonely I actually am. The only real friend I've ever made was Y/n and now I have no clue what we really are at the moment. Are we friends? Enemies? Acquainted? Friends with benefits? She still is a mystery to me, that girl. She's a moonchild, a unique and curious soul who is often in a daze. She lives and indulges in a fantasy and refuses to come back to her harsh reality. She was born in June, so that could explain my reference but it's more than her sign. I can't ever seem to get her off of my mind and it's so aggravating that it's painful. I tried my best to explain this to my therapist, but it's easier to think than to say out loud.

"Why don't you just break up with Hallie if you desire to be with Y/n so much?" He asked me.

"Because then it gives me a valid reason to finally be with her completely. It'll just feel forced."

"And you don't want that?"

"No."

Dr. Figg took off his glasses and sat them down on the coffee table standing between the two of us. "I know I asked you this question before, but do you ever think about- or even fantasize about doing things to Y/n?"

A pinch of uncomfortableness hit my chest and a knot tightened in my abdomen. "What do you mean?"

"Like," He hesitated and took a deep breath. "Sexual acts, rather kinky?"

"I've thought about how I used to hit her. She didn't like it then but now she wants me to. Why?"

"Yes. That is a trauma response, Vance. She's gotten so used to the violence she feels like she needs to keep it going. Like a tradition."