Scarred Desires [BWWM]

Chapter 24 - The night sky

Right now, Lorenzo and I are laying down on grass staring at the beautiful night sky.

When he was dragging me here, I asked him about his food getting cold but the response I got was "there's a reason we have a microwave." I did rolled my eyes at his response but followed him anyway.

The reason why he brought me here outside was to show me the stars. I mean I am grateful since I don't nowadays really have time to look at the night sky.

"How are you feeling? You know with everything?" I asked

He hesitated before answering. "To be honest, I feel like I failed  as a father."

"Oh please dont say that-" I said as he cut me off to look at me.

"Yes I did, it's my fault that I'm going to jail and it's my fault that Ophelia is in that wicked woman's hands."

" No it's not!! You did your best for your daughter."

"Then I guess it wasn't enough." He said while staring at the night sky. I tilt my head to looked at him but I only got his side profile on his handsome face.

I sighed as I began to talk. "Yes you did and even though you might not feel like it but I'm so proud of you. You stayed in Ophelia's life when things went downhill and yet you're still fighting for custody for her."

He stayed quiet as I continued. "For me that's what a good dad you are to ophelia."

I said to him as he stayed silent. I looked up at the night sky thinking about Lorenzo and Ophelia because what I just said is true. Lorenzo is a great father and if people can't see that then fuck them.

It became really silent but it wasn't the awkward silence it was just the comfortable silence.

The cool wind blew on my face as I felt goosebumps over my body. I started to curse at myself for not wearing a sweater since I'm only wearing a blue crop top with shorts.

"Come here" I heard Lorenzo raspy voice say as he pulled me closer to his body.

I first hesitated before placing my head and hands on his chest. it's being months since I touched anyone or even myself.

But in a sexual manner.

I became tense as the memories of Trevor beating me up came as I closed my eyes trying shut them up.

I think Lorenzo noticed me tense as he held my check in his palm so that we can both look at each other.

"Hey, it's just me." He said while I still had my eyes close. He used his thumb to brush my cheek slightly making me actually calm down.

I slowly open my eyes as we lock eyes again. I stared at his beautiful green eyes while his stared right back into mine.

My eyes slowly went to his pink juicy lips as it came back to his eyes. The moment I did that, he was already staring at my lips as both of our chest was already press together.

All of sudden I don't know what came over me but I smash my lips onto his.

He was surprised at my sudden movement as he didn't kiss me back but once he registered what was happening he started kissing me passionately.

Instead of laying down he slowly sat up as I sat on his lap while we still kiss. I shiver against him as I felt his cool ring on his fingers against my back.

I know what we are both doing is wrong and we are probably gonna regret it but I can't seem to stop this.

And I don't wanna stop.

But I need to stop this.

Because this isn't right.

"Wait-Wait" I said against his lips pulling away from the kiss. "We can't."

"Why not?" He whispered

"Why not? You seriously asking me that?" I said while scoffing as I stood up from his lap.

Gosh, why did I even kiss him.

"I mean I don't see anything wrong?" He said while standing up to face me.

How can he not see how much he hurt me. Did he think just because we all cool, I have forgiven him?

I can't even believe this guy.

"God! Why are you even here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you here in New York?" I said in a furious tone as I ran my fingers through my curly hair.

Because I want to understand what he's here. Want to understand him.

"Fuck! You know how many times I have tried hard to hate you? or to forget that you hurt me? I mean one second your hating me and suing me and the other second your fucking nice to me."

" I-"

He was about to speak, but I cut him off. "What do you want from me?"  "Do you want to hurt me again is that it, or do you want to have sex with me and talk about it to your friends just like you took my virginity back in highschool?"

"Aurora-"

"I can't do this because every time I am around you, all you are doing is hurting me. I was happy with my life okay! I said with tears in my eyes as I  started to feel everything he did to me and every feeling I have been holding onto getting out.

" Then all you did was to sue me and show up back in my life. So what I am asking you is why are you here? Why did u fucking sue me!?"

I asked as he stared at me with so much guilt in his eyes.

"Fuck Aurora!" He said while running his hand through his black hair.

"Why did you sue me?"

"Why did you hurt me?"

"Why did you-"

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO OKAY!"

"What?"

"Because I wanted to and  I never meant to hurt you!

"I never wanted to hurt you in the first place. I did all that I did to push you away from me."

"What-"

"Everytime I see you all I can think about is doing things to you that I don't wanna think about.

"And I can't help it."

"So you thought bullying me was the solution. You realise how dumb you sound?"

"I know trust me I know! And I am so sorry I hurt you!" He said as he stepped closer to me."

"You really hurt me Lorenzo."

"I know"

The moment he said that I felt myself break down as He hugged me.

"I hate you so much." I said to him while crying as he stayed quiet.

I know Lorenzo hurt me but why do I find confort in him like I shouldn't but somehow I do.

I slowly raised my head while wiping my tears.

"You should go back inside." He said ignoring my gaze.

I hesitated before answering " Okay."

I said still standing infront of him as he still didn't look at me.

That's when I decided to leave because I am tried of him hurting me and I am proud of myself for not letting any thing get further.

Because I don't wanna be hurt anymore.

Especially not by him.