JUST ACCEPT IT!

'But I do.'

"Bruce ?"

"Hey vance,"
I had said, I couldn't help but put a smile on my face..
  'God..what the fuck is wrong with me?'
He helped me through his window and I just sat on his bed. "Why are you here? aren't you supposed asleep or something ?"
he said in a serious tone but I knew the end was a joke. "I couldn't sleep.." I was looking at him while talking, he wasn't though. He was trying to change the music, I didn't mind though.. I was thinking about leaving. I didn't know why I would think THE Vance Hopper would listen and want me around him. "Should I leave?"
I had said..I got up, I felt embarrassed at this point.
"Why?", "You were the one who came here didn't you? and besides I can't sleep either, so it's fine." he said not yet making eye contact. A small wave of silence came, I was sat back down on the edge of him bed. Soon he had walked and laid down next to me on his bed.
     "Vance?" I spoke softly..I didn't know what to say, but I have had a question on my mind.
"hm?" he said looking at me but I denied contact.

    'there's so many things i could say..WHAT DO I SAY?! FUCK!'
I was mad at myself.."Why do you fight so many people?"
                'Are you fucking serious.
  WHY DO YOU FIGHT PEOPLE?! THATS ALL YOU COULD THINK OF!! GOD DAMNIT BRUCE.'
all of the 'voices' in my head say..ik it's me but, I don't wanna think it. But I do.
"I don't know. I just do"
"Oh.." was all I said,
"Can I?" I asked pointing to the bed asking to lay down. "Sure I don't care" he replied, he sounded more calm than he did when I first met him. I thought it was nice, but also way more genuine..maybe he was warming up to me?
I laid down next to him. I looked at his ceiling while he was laying on his side, I could see him through the corner of my eye. He was looking at me, then at his door, then to the wall with his poster of 'Sweet'
"What's your favorite song of theirs?" I questioned. "What? Oh..probably
'Fox on the run' have you heard it?"
"Nah..I don't listen to music much"
i replied. It went silent, or atleast it was until-
"WHAT?YOU.DONT.LISTEN.TO.MUSIC?!"
"THATS BULL."
he said while getting up and sitting in front of me. "No" I said while getting up and laughing slightly, "I don't have the time"
Vance looked at me and gave me a what-the-fuck
stare. Meaning he was very wide-eyed, mouth technically opened due to pure shock. I looked at him for a moment meeting eye contact, he was almost angelic.
The eye contact was quick though,
he got up afterwards basically running towards his burrow with his vinyl and albums. He put on
'Fox on the Run'
then
'The Boys Are Back In Town'
and a whole lot of other things.. just to prove
that "MUSIC IS LIFE!".
He has said that before, I guess I could believe him. I listen to music sometimes but what I listen to..if I said I'd be called 'gay' or 'fag'.
I mean..I'm not, that's why I don't speak about it.
But for some reason it was mentioned today.
"I mean..I listen to music just probably around a few times a week, unlike you."
"Well what the fuck do you listen to?" Vance said looking straight at me. "I don't know..Just don't make fun of me?"
"Dude. It's music I won't, unless it's jazz or some cringey shit like country imma throw you out"
he said with a small laugh and smile but quickly went back to his blank expression. "Ehhh..I listen to shit like 'The Smiths', 'Madonna',
'Tears for fears', and a few songs by
'Duran Duran'. I don't have much." I explained,
"Okay..cool. I don't listen to half of them but
'Girls on Film' by Duran Duran was alright."
Phew..
'Why would I make fun of you for that again?"
he asked. "To be exact..I have no clue" I laughed.
"My mom said that it's girly and if I listen to that then I must be gay.." I spoke. "Oh," "Well that's stupid"
We both had nothing left to say.. the words between us were like it someone had said something unbelievable, we kinda just laid down next to each other..arms touching, heads looking at the ceiling like there were memories in the non-existing stars on the top of his room. The silence was comforting though, too much.
I felt like I could go to sleep, I mean I had been here for about.. 3HOURS?! shit.
I turn to look at him, "hey Vance?"
"Wassup" he said, "I gotta go, Imma be dead meat If I get caught not in my bed by morning."
"Ok." he said, It hurt me..having to leave, it's like he was my break. The one chaotic person I'd want to be with forever. The one to get in trouble with alllll the time.

I was about to leave until he said
"Hey..lemme make a deal"
I looked back at him scared..like he was about to say something that would almost kill me but instead, "You had fun tonight right?"
what.the.fuck.
Wassup with Vance recently?
"Yeah..a lot actually, why?"
"Come here tomorrow, bring your albums...You listened to my music i'll listen to yours, talk to your mom and ask If you can stay with a friend from your baseball team"
"sure!!" I had said, I wasn't thinking in the moment and I went up and hugged him, very tightly. to my surprise? he hugged back! nothing special but he returned a small warmth-full hug.
hey..maybe he was actually warming up to me

<3333333

AUTHORS NOTE: I WOULD'VE HAD THIS DONE EARLIER SORRY, ALSO DONT WE LOVE HAVING A GAY AWAKENING?!

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