The Senior Trip

Chapter 56

Asher

The sight of our hotel makes my stomach drop. I haven't given any thought to how I would handle the moment I have to hand her back over to Ezra. The only relief I feel is seeing there aren't news cameras or any police cars on the street outside the crumbling old building currently housing our fellow graduates. I can't think of what to say, so I just nudge her gently awake. For a moment we lock eyes. A million things are spoken in that silence—that we will miss each other, that we enjoyed our time, that on some level our hearts will feel this for years to come—but I just take her arm and put it over my shoulder to help her off the bus.

When we get to the stairs, I lift her into my arms and carry her down. For a brief minute, I stand at the bus stop, both of us looking in the direction of the hotel, and I wonder if she would let me disappear with her again. We still had time. We hadn't been seen by anyone yet. Who says we have to go back?

"It's ok," she tells me.

"Just a little more time," I tell her. I press a kiss to the top of her head and hold her as tightly to me as I can. Finally, when I know that our presence on the corner would bring more attention than either of us would want, I step off the curb and head back to where it all started.

Kids are scattered everywhere by the pool and a few are asleep in the lobby. Sun burns mark the passage of time, and I hold her longer than I need to. She could walk, but that would rob me of holding her and I refuse to give in and set her feet back on the floor so she can walk away.

"HARPER!" A voice practically screeches across the lobby. "Thank God!"

Ezra hurries towards us, his phone in his hand as he waved it in out direction. "I was about to call someone. I just couldn't figure out who. What's the matter?" His eyes search every inch of her as if he doesn't trust I haven't hurt her.

"I'm fine. I just rolled my ankle." Harper looks up to me and I know she's ready for me to set her down so I reluctantly let her go.

"Here, I've got you." Ezra moves and is at her side immediately. Her arm rests on his shoulder in a familiar way that makes my heart pinch in my chest. "I have so much to tell you," he starts and I can tell she wants to hear it. Her face lights up as she allows him to guide her away from me. Her head turns back and our eyes meet. She presses her lips together in a forced smile.

"Thank you," she mouths to me as to not interupt her friend.

I nod.

"You can't wear that," Jess' voice booms across the lobby. I'm confused. I turn to see if there is anyone else she could be talking to, but no one is behind me and she's now making her way over.

"—to dinner," she says incredulously. "Remember we have dinner tonight?"

I'm sure that fact is in my brain somewhere, but right now I wouldn't call it a priority. I shake my head. My hands slip to my sides, suddenly feeling so empty. I run my palm along my back pocket, checking for the tiny apple. It's there.

I look past Jess to Harper, but she's no longer with me. Her and Ezra are laughing as he struggles to carry her to the elevator. Just like that, my heart is whisked away as the doors slide open and they step inside. Her eyes find mine one last time as the doors begin to close and I watch her take me in, then find Jess. I want to yell to her to wait for me, but her face only falls for the briefest of moments—so quickly I tell myself I might have imagined it. Her laugh fills the lobby as when Ezra grunts and she wraps her arms around his neck so tight he pretends to choke. I look away because I feel like I'm invading something private. I have no place in their long history of friendship.

"Well, you still have time to change." Jess' voice interrupts my thought.

"Right," I agree.

"I'll meet you back down here in thirty?" she asks.

I feel slow. I know she's asking me something, but I'm not really present. It's like by the time her words get to my ears, everything gets all jumbled. At the beginning of this trip my world hung up on every syllable that fell from her mouth, but now her voice isn't the one I want to hear. My brain is setting up a road block to her intrusive instructions.

I need to get through tonight. I'll tell Jess over dinner that she was right—we aren't meant to be. We each need some time to figure out what we really want and to discover what life has for each of us. I fought it, but this time away has taught me life without her isn't as terrible as I thought it would be. I might just have been in love with the idea of her—the perfect story of our relationship and the fear of what would happen if we didn't end up together at the end.

"Dinner in thirty," I agree. Then I move past her and head for the front desk to get my room key.