The Senior Trip

Chapter 12

ASHER

I can't believe this is the way this trip is going to play out. Last night I thought we might just need a little time to cool off and then we'd be back to the usual Asher and Jess, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that was just denial on my part. She isn't even trying to keep this under wraps.

"I'm sure she just wants to have some girl time," Harper says kindly.

I laugh without humor. "Thank you, but that's not it."

Her face pinches in sympathy and apprehension. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

"No," I answer quickly, but suddenly our drama comes bursting from my chest in a rush of frustration and falls right out of my mouth. "She broke up with me last night. She wants to experience life or something. I don't even know. One minute everything was fine and we were trying to figure out how we were going to see each other after summer when we are at separate colleges and the next she is telling me she thinks we need to end things."

"Ouch," she says with a wince.

"Yes. Ouch. I couldn't cancel this trip, but I don't know if I can be this close to her and not ask all the questions that are floating around in my head. It won't help, and I know that, but I just can't figure out how someone decides something like that so quickly and out of nowhere." I shake my head.

"Did she give you any explanation? Any idea what's happening in her head?" Harper looks at me and I can feel the concern. She's easy to talk to.

"No. I keep thinking it has to be something, right? Maybe she likes someone else. My eyes don't want to see that, but I don't want to be stupid either." I'm being honest. The thought that maybe she likes someone else has been the only one that seems to stick. Last night I couldn't sleep and all I kept thinking about was how badly this hurt, and how the only way for her to be smiling and carrying on like everything is fine would be if she took her heart from my hands and gave it to someone else.

"I don't know," she answers. "Would it change the way you feel if she did?"

"No. It would just make it hurt worse I guess."

"Then don't ask her," she says matter-of-factly.

"Well, aren't you great at being in denial too," I joke. "It's not real if we don't talk about it?"

"No," she says with a smile and a shake of her head. "But what good would it do for you to find that information out while you are stuck in a foreign country with her. You guys will literally be a few feet away from each other for the next seven days."

"Maybe you're right."

"I don't know, it's not like I'm an expert or anything," she tells me. "I just can't imagine knowing that truth will make you feel anything but sick."

I chuckle. "The truth would be like dirty water."

"Yes," she says with a soft laugh, "avoid it while in Mexico."

"Right," I agree. I'm not sure how I will do that if our friends start talking. My fear is that she's going to get drunk and spill our drama to everyone. The least she could do is tell me first, but I get the feeling she isn't proud of what she's doing so it might only float to the surface when there's alcohol involved.

"Did you book any excursions together?" Harper asks, biting her lip as if the answer will sting her too. She's really a sweetheart.

"Thankfully only one. The rest we booked as a large group with our friends so there will be some extra people to help cushion our conflict. The last night we are scheduled to have dinner together on the beach. Maybe by then, things will be better. Does that sound pathetic?" I ask.

"No, it sounds hopeful. And listen," she says with self-depreciation, "of all people, I understand the need to have hope."

"Maybe Finn and Molly will break up and you'll get your chance," I reassure her.

"Can I trust you with a secret?"

"Of course," I tell her seriously.

"They broke up last night too. I still can't believe it." Her words drift off as if the whole idea wasn't strong enough to stay on her tongue.

"I thought they'd get married," I say shocked.

"Me too."

"Do you know what happened?" I ask.

"No. We didn't really have time to flush it all out. One minute they were a super couple, the next Finn is driving us to the airport alone, his phone going crazy with text messages."

"That's crazy. Maybe there was a full moon or something," I say, grasping for reasons why the world was against long-term relationships last night.

"I don't know, but I think he'll be OK.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"He smiled at his phone. I can't imagine anything on there being happy news the day after you and your girlfriend break-up, so maybe he has plans to go out and live it up while he can."

"If he feels anything like I do, that's not the case. I'd like to crawl into a bed and sleep until this trip is over." In fact, that's my plan.

"NO!" she says so loudly a few people turn around. "You can't. You can't let her ruin this trip. What if you get back together and then she has all these great memories of the trip and you only know what the underside of your comforter looked like? Or even worse, what if you don't get back together and you let her take this from you too?"

What if we don't get back together? The words land on my heart like a ton of jagged bricks. She's right, though. This week in Mexico is what it is. Either way, the time is going to pass. I can spend it having a good time, or I can waste it.

"Thanks, Harper. I see why Ezra thinks you're cool." She's not like the other girls.

"But not as cool as Lindsay," she says with a laugh.

"Well let me tell you the secret behind that," I say, feeling like my old self for a minute. "Lindsay didn't put him in the friend zone." 

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