In Need of Love

Chapter 5

Cassian entered his house with a slam. He didn't need or want a mate, and he definitely didn't want to share one with Harlan. So then why did it feel this way? Why did he feel like shit for storming off the way he did?

He shivered as the cold finally seeped in, and he headed to the shower. The hot water did nothing to soothe him.

He found his angry eyes in the mirror, and he almost didn't recognize himself. He didn't know what had gotten ahold of him, but he was so tired of feeling all of this constant frustration.

Cassian cursed, sending his fist right into his reflection and watching it shatter into the sink, leaving a trail of blood from his fist.

He hated this. He hated all of it. He didn't even get to know her name, and she didn't even want to give him a chance. Was he that much of a monster?

He left the mess, going to the kitchen to rinse the blood that was running down his arm. He winced, finally feeling the effects of that stupid decision.

He gathered his laptop and dropped onto the floor. He needed to figure out her name and where she lived.

But, making amends with his mate meant talking to Harlan and he wasn't sure he could do that.

His cellphone rang, cutting out the silence that covered the house. He growled at the disruption.

He found his phone in his shredded dress pants, and he almost didn't answer as he didn't recognize the number. He didn't know why he decided to pick up, but he did.

"Alpha Graywood, it's Jacob from the North Ridge pack."

"Why the hell are you calling me?"

"I think Harlan is going to do something stupid," Jacob said.

Cassian froze. He had a sinking feeling in his gut. "What are you talking about?"

"I found a note from him. He left it on our porch. It was pretty much a goodbye letter."

His heart plummeted to his feet. He felt a cold sweat creep up his neck.

"I've been looking all over for him, but he didn't say where he was going. I don't know what to do."

"What did the note say exactly? Harlan isn't, he isn't,-" Cassian fumbled. He really didn't know what Harlan was like any more, and he knew something had been off about him. He just thought it was the issues between them.

"It was like an apology for disappointing the pack and us, and not living up to the expectations everyone had for his brother. I know you two don't talk, Cassian, but Harlan hasn't been well. He's distant. He's working three jobs-"

"Three jobs?" he exclaimed. He slipped on his shoes. Why the hell did he need three jobs?

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this. I was just hoping you would know of some place he used to like to go."

Cassian rushed out of his house. He knew exactly the place, and it wasn't good.

"I know the place. I'll deal with it. I'll talk to him."

"Are you sure? I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'll deal with it, " Cassian snapped, before hanging up.

He shifted into his wolf, taking off into the trees. He didn't feel the cold wind this time, even though the sun had long since disappeared. His heart was hammering in his chest.

It felt like it took him forever to reach the cliffsides that bordered the northern end of Harlan's territory.

It used to be their hidden spot. As kids, they would line up their patrol times so they could spend a few minutes together. It used to be the highlight of the boring chore.

Cassian relaxed a bit when he saw Harlan's lone form sitting on the edge with his feet dangling. He didn't approach.

He tried to make out how high they were in the moonlight, but it was impossible to tell. He assumed the drop was steep, definitely unsurvivable.

"What are you doing here, Cassian?" Harlan asked. He wasn't wearing a jacket.

Cassian shivered. He had to be freezing. How long had he been sitting there?

"Jacob was worried," he answered, before adding. "and so was I."

"Don't pretend like you care."

Cassian stiffened, scrubbing his face with his palm. He tried to think rationally. Now wasn't the time to get angry.

"I've always cared," he whispered.

Harlan scoffed. "If that were true, you would've been there for me when my whole family was killed. You chose that stupid girl over me."

"I didn't choose her, Harlan. You shut me out. You know I'm not good with that kind of stuff."

It was quiet. The wind roared through their ears, rustling the trees surrounding them. The cold was slowly seeping through.

"Can you move back from the edge?" Cassian asked. His heart was still pounding. He felt hopeless and guilty. He should've tried harder to get through to his friend when he was grieving.

Harlan used his hands to brace himself up, and Cassian finally moved in to grab him, pulling him back a few steps.

"You scared the fuck out of me," Cassian breathed, chest heaving.

Harlan sobbed, dropping his head down to hide the tears. "My own mate doesn't even want me, and I can't even keep the pack-"

"Dotty was just scared. How would you feel if you found out you had two Alpha mates?"

Harlan was surprised at the almost reasonable statement that had just come out of Cassian's mouth. It even managed to stop his tears temporarily.

"Dotty?" he whispered.

Cassian scoffed, shrugging out of his jacket and offering it over. Harlan accepted the generous offer. He could hardly wiggle his fingers.

"As if I wouldn't find out who she was and where she lived."

Cassian started walking and Harlan slowly followed.

"What did you find?" Harlan asked curiously.

"Surprisely nothing. I found an old pack name on her birth records, but no current address or anything else."

It felt nice to talk to Cassian without arguing. It felt familiar, and Harlan's turmoil eased significantly in his presence.

"She was walking out into the middle of nowhere," Harlan mused as they reached the borderline between their packs.

"Go home, Harlan," Cassian said. "We have a lot to talk about, but I think we should talk to Dotty first."

Harlan agreed, handing him back his jacket. Cassian shifted, disappearing into the darkness.