𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

i. SPRING BREAK.

MARCH 20TH, 1986 and there Icarus Blood was, sitting in a row together with his mom and his dad on either sides of him. "Is... this really the only way to spend Spring Break?" He asked, looking to his mom who had black sunglasses on, staring straight ahead. "Yes." She just replied back quickly to him.

"Grandma doesn't even have that much space!" He exclaims. "You can stay with a friend." His dad ruffled his hair and Icarus grimaced, rling his eyes. "I'd rather stay here with Riley in her dorm." He says and his dad laughs, "yeah, right. It'd not coed, even if she's your sister, they won't let you." He says and Icarus sighs, slinking down in his seat.

"I don't have friends in Hawkins anymore." Icarus said as their flight was announced over the intercom and Matthew laughs. "Yeah, right. There's a letter coming in every month from none other than Steve Harrington." He says and Icarus ignores the pang in his chest as he rolled his eyes, looking around. The three stand in the line and Icarus wants to run, go and squat at one of his new friends' maybe, but six months is not enough time to know someone well enough to stay at their house for a week. He will just have to suck it up and go back. To Hawkins. Shitty little Hawkins.

Something is drawing him there. He can sense it. He feels like it's Steve, another is telling him it's just gonna be something worse happening again, because something worse happened three years in a row, who's to say another won't happen? He feels anxious as they made their way closer and closer to the terminal. Maybe it's not too late to turn back.

He'll beg his new friend, Melanie, on his hands and knees if he has to, he'll take some money out of his trust fund if he really really has to, just use it and stay at some random hotel. But then they were on the airplane, his seatbelt fastened and his heart racing a thousand miles per minute. He tries to calm himself down as his mom looks at him, slipping off her sunglasses. "Are you okay honey?"

"Peachy keene."

The flight was only two hours long and when they landed, Icarus was practically dragging his feet behind his parents with an annoyed look on his face. "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this." He whispers repeatedly on their way to the exit of the airport.

"Saying you hate this over and over won't teleport you back to home." His mom, Mary, says and he merely rolls his eyes. "I can try!" He says sarcastically as his dad loads up the trunk and they got into the backseat. Icarus got the window seat with his forehead against the window the whole way to his grandma's which was about an hour. Roughly.

The taxi ride took a while, but at least Icarus has free time to do whatever the fuck he wants while his mom and his dad catch up with his grandma. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He sat directly across his grandmother and his mother who are talking all about their lives in their new home, in New York where Riley was attending classes at Barnard.

"And what about you, my dear Icarus, how is New York for you?" His grandma, Lorraine asked with a sweet little smile and he shrugs. "Good... I made some friends." He's fidgeting with the zipper of his leather jacket as his leg started bouncing up and down. "Oh, that's nice," she said and then Matthew walks in. "Hi, mom," he smiled widely at her, then went to her side to formally greet his mother in-law. She had always insisted he call her mom too and not Mrs. Morris or Lorraine. It kinda stuck.

Icarus smiled faintly then glanced down. "You know what? I'm gonna go see a friend." He got up suddenly. He glanced at the watch on his wrist and saw it say 5:45 p.m. Robin should be at Family Video by now. He prays for a moment that Steve had the day off or something of the sorts when a pair of keys were tossed towards him and he quickly looks up after catching them in between his hands and chest. "Take Betty!" His grandmother's grinning.