Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 34....

"Are you okay?" Trevor asked once we were in his car. Minutes before we were swarmed with paparazzi. The moment they noticed it was Trevor and I they were on us like flies. Camera's clicking, yelling our names and questions at us.

Trevor shielded me from most of them and quickly ushered us into the car. Hundred bucks the pictures of us walking hand in hand out of the hotel will be splattered all across social media in the next hour. I wouldn't be surprised if there is no mention of what just happened inside. My parents probably silencing it.

"Honestly....no." I didn't have it in me to lie.

I just felt....tired. So much has happened tonight to even begin to process it. My parents, the guy who assaulted me, Trevor protecting me. It was all a bit much.

I could feel myself wanting to shut down. To block everything and everyone out, just like I did when Daniel touched me in that club. But the hand on my knee kept me grounded. Just the feeling of having Trevor close was calming the wave of emotions threatening to drown me.

"Lets get you home."

I barely noticed that Trevor was driving towards his place instead of mine. In my head all I could replay was seeing the set of eyes that have haunted me for a good year. Seeing the lack of emotions on my parents face. There had been nothing when they learned what happened to me.

I think that is the worst part. The two people that are suppose to love me no matter what didn't care that their daughter was assaulted. Didn't care enough to speak up. That was the slap to the face more than anything else.

As soon as Trevor parked in front of his house I felt my shoulders relax a little. His place was the safest to be at right now. It took me a minute to get out of the car with my dress. I was in such a daze getting in I'm not even sure how I managed to fit in the front seat with it.

Trevor gently took my head and lead me up to the door, unlocking it with a quick flip. Trevor's place smelled just like him. A smell that was so comforting I wanted to bottle it up and take it with me everywhere.

Catching sight of Trevor's bags near the door I remembered he hasn't even been home since he landed.

"You need to unpack. You can't leave this here." Reaching down I grabbed one bag, grunting from the weight of it.

I started towards his bedroom, practically dragging it alongside me. He needs to unpack. It's not fair he hasn't been home in a week and had to immediately come to the gala. These bags need to be emptied.

"Sunshine."

I ignored him and kept walking. I knew what I was doing. I was deflecting. I was putting all my emotions into something else. Something that doesn't involve myself and what happened tonight.

"It can wait till tomorrow." Trevor said, following behind me.

"No it needs to be done now. You can also start your laundry." Not caring that it's almost 11 o'clock at night.

If I distract myself enough it will be like nothing happened. I can shove it all down and forget it ever happened. Yep, that's what I'm going to do. Just pretend it didn't happen.

I can feel myself starting to breath heavy. The sides of my vision darkening as I try to heave Trevor's bag onto the bed. When it wouldn't move an inch I gritted my teeth and tried again. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes as I tried one last time before letting out a yell.

"Stupid fucking bag." All the emotions I've been trying to hold back came crashing down. Tears blurred my eyes as I kicked Trevor's bag.

"Tasha."