permanent price ✷ alex karev

013. ready runner // not a runner

"ready runner"
by momma

" oh, kiss her in the morning
...
ready when you are
ready when you are
ready when you are
ready when you are
...
what charm makes her head float higher?
...
don't go running
don't go running
don't go running
(ready when you are) "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"into you like a train"
season 2, episode 6

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

the aftermath of the train crash had left eleanor an emotional wreck.

she was doing better than those in the literal wreck, but still, she was a mess.

bonnie's death had really gotten to her.

the whole situation just really sucked.

it sucked.

that was the best choice of words she could think of.

watching them pull her off the pole and toss her aside like she was trash, sucked.

begging to help save her life with meredith, only to be told she was too far gone and to give up, sucked.

watching her die while nobody was fighting to save her life, sucked.

and seeing the look on her fiance's face as derek told him the news, sucked.

this feeling that lingered in her chest, sucked.

it all just really fucking sucked.

not to mention that her stupid older brother didn't sign the goddamn divorce papers.

so now, not only was her best friend totally heartbroken but the heartbreaking was done by eleanor's own brother.

and it seemed like satan would be sticking around seattle for a while now.

which didn't just mean she was going to have to see her face every day, but that she was going to have to be civil and get used to working with her too.

on top of all of that, alex was being dodgy and douchy again so that's great.

all of it was just really fucking great.

"hey." alex spoke.

"jesus christ!" eleanor jumped. "you scared the shit out of me." she sniffled, wiping her nose and eyes.

"what are you doing out here? it's freezing." he asked her, taking a seat next to her on the bench.

"just... getting some air." she told.

"you okay?" he asked.

she turned her head to face him and stared, "do i look okay?" she asked.

"no... that's why i asked. what's goin' on?" he asked her.

"you ever feel like the whole world is crumbling in front of you and it's your job to fix it, but there is literally nothing you can do to help?" 

"i mean, not really, no." he shook his head.

"well that's how i feel, like all the time." she laughed sadly.