permanent price ✷ alex karev

017. touch tank

"touch tank"
by quinnie

" i used to dive deep 'til i got splashed in the face

he's so pretty when he goes down on me
gold-skinned eager baby, blue shirt out the laundry
he tells me he's gentle when he wants to be
so i think he wants to be gentle with me

you took my breath away
so now i can't suck in my stomach around you anymore "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"grandma got run over by a reindeer"
season 2, episode 12

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

eleanor had been working with derek on mr. epstein's case that day. all those little kids running around and singing reminded eleanor of christmas back home. though she wasn't sure if new york was 'home' anymore. at first, seattle was just the place she was for the time being, but now, it held a sense of permanence. she no longer thought about when she'd be going back to new york, she didn't think about leaving seattle at all. it had become her home.

on another note, her literal home had become overrun with christmas decorations. meredith and george hated it, but secretly, eleanor didn't mind so much. it did make her miss her family, or at least what her family used to be before things changed.

there was something going on with derek, too. she couldn't tell if he missed new york too, or if it was something else. derek used to love christmas, but now, he just seemed down. maybe he was just upset with addison, god knows eleanor could attest to that.

she was catching up on labs when she saw derek walking down the hall.

"hey, der! wait up." she said running after him.

"yeah, what do you need, eleanor?" he asked. it wasn't rude or sarcastic, it was just cold. derek wasn't a cold guy, not to eleanor at least.

"what's going on with you? and don't say nothing because we both know that's a lie."

"honest?" he asked her.

"honest." she nodded.

"and you won't tell addie?"

"what kind of question is that? of course i'm not going to tell addie." eleanor rolled her eyes.

"i miss meredith. plain and simple. the holidays are meant to be spent with the people you love, and i, well i still love her." he admitted.

"then why did you stay with addie? c'mon, derek, if you love her, be with her."

"it's not that simple, nellie, you know that."

"no, i don't enlighten me, please."

"we've been together for eleven years, she's as much my family as you are."

"that is insulting." eleanor scoffed.

"okay, not as much as you, but you get the point."

"yeah, she's your wife, she's your family. but she also fucked your best friend, derek. you know who didn't fuck your best friend? meredith? you know who loves you? meredith. you know who you love? oh right, it's meredith. addie is my family too, she was for a long time, but she broke my trust. ]i've only known meredith for as long as you have and she's become more my family than addison was in just this short time. i'm just saying, der, time doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy." eleanor shrugged as she walked away.