September 2017
Aaron,
Our baby is a month old today. Elsie Penelope Hotchner. I named her after two of the most important women in my life.
Elsie, my baby sister, who died before she even graduated high school. My sister, who deserved a life better than she had. Better than the abusive boyfriend that killed her. Better than the family who barely got her the justice she deserved.
And Penelope, my best friend. The one who has been there for me for a decade. Since I started at Quantico, even before I joined the BAU. Who has been there, day and night, for every heartbreak, loss, and triumph. Who was there, holding my hand, because you didn't.
Peter Lewis died two months ago, and you still haven't come home. I don't know what to say anymore. I can't keep putting my energy into hoping for you, not when our baby relies on me now. I'm all she's got.
Maybe this is goodbye. I don't know. I'm too tired to keep writing you letters you'll never read. Too tired to keep missing you.
I love you, Aaron Hotchner. But I have to move on, otherwise that love is going to kill me.
Alexandria
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