Lost in the Cruel World (Mikasa's Second Chance) (AOT)

18. Needed to be Done

AUTHOR'S POV:

The inspection of ODM gear was held for the investigation to uncover the killer of the two Titans, Sonny and Bean.

Around the room, 3D gears were placed on the tables with two soldiers standing at attention behind each table.

One MP was inspecting while another one was checking everyone's record.

"When's the last time the shaft was replaced?" The MP soldier asked.

"Six days ago, after the clean-up operation." Sasha answered.

"That matches the records." A female MP soldier said, scribbling on her clipboard.

"Okay, next." The man said. "You are?"

"Christa Lenz of Squad 42." Christa said.

"We'll inspect your gear next."
.

"Who'd have thought killing Titans was a punishable offense." One trainee said.

"It does seem ironic, but those two were valuable test subjects." His friend replied.

"Even so, why are they searching for the culprit among us trainees? We just finished cleaning up the battlefield today."

"Yeah, everyone's exhausted from the cleaning."

Nearby, Armin was listening to their conversation.

"The culprit must've really hated the Titans." Connie said, grabbing Armin's attention.

Armin looked at him. "Yeah. But in this case, they ended up helping the Titans instead. They may have fulfilled their personal desire for vengeance, but the net result is a major setback for humanity."

"I think I get why they did it because I can be an idiot myself." Connie said. "Before I'd ever seen a Titan, I was certain I wanted to enlist in the Survey Corps. But now, I never want to see another one. And today, we all have to decide which branch to join too."
.
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The trainees stood around three circular pyres.

Connie was crying, squatting on the ground, his hands clutching the sides of his face.

Jean was looking at him with sympathy.

Marco, who was standing beside him, crying too.

'Everyone's regretting it.' Jean turned his gaze from Connie to the others. Ymir, Christa, Sasha, Tomas and Mina, all had a despondent expressions on their faces. 'If I'd known it'd be this hellish, I'd have never chosen to become a soldier.'

Reiner, Annie, and Bertolt stood together, blank-faced.

'Now I'm so burned out.' Jean thought, 'I can't think of anything else.' He walked toward the crackling flames and stood before the scattered little pieces of bones. 'I don't know how many soilders are here who died because of my plan...' Jean thought. 'I don't want this now... I just can't...' He closed his eyes. 'If I hadn't become a soldier, I wouldn't have to keep wondering who'll be on that pile next.'

The remaining 104th trainees stared at the flames in silence.

'Will we abandon the progress made through countless sacrifices and let the Titans devour us all?' Eren's speech then came to Jean's mind.

'I get it. I know we have to fight.' Jean thought. 'Still... not everyone can be a reckless idiot like you.'

He slowly opened his eyes and just stared into the flames.

Marco came from behind and put his hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "I know what needs to be done now."

Jean looked at him. "Hmm?"