Endless Love

Him

I sat in the passenger seat and glanced at Kristian as he rested his head on the door panel. We stopped at this truck stop after hours of driving; at this point, I wouldn't know where we were. I couldn't sleep when I'd force myself to try. I watched as the semis and cars drove past on the highway most of the night; at some point, I silently cried realizing I had dragged him into my problems. I hurt the people I come in contact with; he'd ruin his chances of graduating and getting his soccer scholarship for college. He threw his dreams away for me and I wasn't proud of it, matter of fact I blamed myself.

I unbuckled my seat belt and his head popped up "Everything okay?" I silently nodded; he sat up in his seat "I made this choice. You have no blame for this so please don't blame yourself." I sniffled "We need to go back... You can't ruin your future for the orphan girl." He leaned over "I have never seen you as that girl. I believe my future is my choice to decide." I became irritated and the only way I'd get through to him is to be mean. I turned to him and snapped "You have a future Kristian! I've seen you play and I know that is your future! Don't do this for me! I will ruin every chance and opportunity you get! You will hate me for it! You aren't the first guy's future I have ruined!"

He leaned back in his seat "What are you talking about?" I started crying "You aren't the only guy I've done this to. Every word and act I've done was that. Acting. I hurt people intentionally and I'm sorry but you deserve far more than this life. There is no future with me. I don't see anything with you. It's a game." He became angry but maintained himself "You're pushing me away and it won't work. You aren't that person..." I cut him off "You've known me for a couple of months! You don't know how well someone can play a part. How well I can." He glanced at me "So why tell me? Violet, I'm not some idiot, you do this when you push people away. So what is it? You're worried about my future? I will make those sacrifices for you."

I wiped my face "Why? You'll regret this decision and forever hold me accountable for it. You will fall out of the relationship once you pass this love faze you think you're in." He turned over the engine "It's your choice." We drove for hours in silence; I stared at the darkness as we drove through it and eventually fell asleep. I had to lie to him to protect his future; if we were meant to be together, we'd find our way back. This was my fate and I couldn't run away and jeopardize his future successes. I loved him, I loved him enough to put him before myself regardless of how much he fought me on it.

We pulled up to Eliza's house just before 7 am; I knew she'd be awake so I'd have to sneak back in. I looked at him "It's better for both of us if you stayed away from me." He quietly responded "I hold to my promise. I'll get my answer if you don't come." I opened the car door and stepped out, I looked back once I reached the door. He sped off; my heart hurts and lying to him didn't help.

I opened the door just as Eliza came out "Where were you?" I fell into her arms with all my emotions surfaced "I don't want to go." She rubbed my back "I know you don't. We need to talk." We sat at the kitchen table, she sighed "Your aunt is here. She wouldn't wait any longer."

I shook my head "Why can't anything go my way." I got up and stormed to the room I stayed in. No point in calling it my room anymore. I pulled out my suitcase and packed my things up. I started getting ready for school in hopes I could say bye to my friends and teachers but these things don't work that way.

I grabbed some nice clothes and got ready; I left my hair down and styled it. I normally threw it in a half bun or ponytail, grabbed some eyeliner, and drew it on my eyes. Eliza came in "Need some help?" I looked at her "Sure." She brought in her curling iron "What's on your mind?" I looked down keeping my head in place "So much. I'd have to write a book about it for you." She adjusted the finished curls "You just might like this new step. You have no worries about being moved again."

I started crying lightly "It's not here with you or my friends. I've grown to love it here and at school; I finally feel 16. She is ripping my happiness away by doing this." She put the iron down "You're always welcome to visit us." I looked at myself in the mirror "Am I going to school?" She gave me a smile "I don't see how that will be a problem."

I stood up and licked the lip gloss off my teeth "When is she coming?" She adjusted my curls again "Tonight. She wanted you to say goodbye." I looked into her eyes "I already said goodbye.." I started to choke up "Kristian... I mean they don't care. They knew it was coming and were only here because they felt terrible!" She frowned "Kristian? Honey, what are you upset with him about?" I wiped my face "I love him. I will never be able to see what we could grow into because my parents chose the life they did. Why do I get punished when I've done nothing!"

She hugged me tightly "Friends stay close even when things become bad." I pulled away hesitating to tell her and ended up not telling her. I wiped my face "I'm going to be late." I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door; I wiped under my eyes to fix my eyeliner. Nothing I say will ever change how I feel or what I want.