OFF-LIMITS

04.

Chapter four | Layla
I think I've come to terms with the fact that It was a fucking bad decision to stay with Damien, I plant a kiss on his cheek and smile at him before I walk away to get dressed for work, I don't search for an outfit for too long, well considering the fact that I always wear the same thing.

I put my hair in a bun and glance at my reflection in the mirror, great, I look great, I smile a little and walk outside the house, Damien's guards greet me and I wave at them, I learned earlier that their names are Christian and killain, my favorite is killain, well simply because he's easier to talk to and not be immediately intimidated, Christian just gives you a blank face, a motionless blank face if we're being specific, it's lovely, I get in my car, turning on the engine and driving away, I let out a breath as fresh air enters my lungs.

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A smile immediately spreads on my face the moment I step into the shelter, hearing the dogs' barking, it just brings something to me, comfort, I give the receptionists a nod and they smile at me, as I walk towards the backyard and my smile widens when I notice my favorite employee is here, her name is Sara, and she's the best.

I wrap my arms around her and she pulls me close, a moment later we pull away, she squeals excitedly, "I need to tell you something! We have good news." She says and excitement fills my mind, "come on! Tell me." I say, she crosses a hand over her chest, her blonde hair falling across her neck, and she narrows her eyes suspiciously on me, "not before you tell me what kind of convincing reason would make you skip five days in a row." She says her brows furrowing, it's...understandable.

Let's just say, this place is like a second home to me? If not first, I sigh and tell her all the tea, her brows shoot to her hairline, and her lips pull in a tight smile, "so you moved in...meaning you can see the hot brother more now." She raises a brow and my face falls as frustrations build through my veins, she's talking about Adrian, not surprised but I'd hoped that she wouldn't pick up on this nonsense.

She raises a dismissive hand, "okay okay, you will never admit that I'm right, it's like...fate is putting you together, don't you see all the signs!" She says and rolls her eyes, mine narrow and I look away not even bothering with this conversation, "you know I'm still your boss right?" I say this trying to sound threatening, but she just interlocks her arm with mine while we walk towards the cages, "the sweetest one." She mutters, ugh.

I sigh, "fine, okay can we please change this topic?" I ask and she nods, "what was the good news though?" I ask not liking the way Adrian is getting in every step I take through my day, "we got a huge amount of money as a donation yesterday, it was amazing, you can ask John for the details though." She says and I smile, that news itself erasing all the shit going through my mind, we reach the caves and she hands me the keys as she walks away yelling for John to come here.

Eventually, he walks towards me, I smile as he waves at me, he has curly hair that eats half his face, but I think it's cool, it's something he's special at, unique, "hey! We missed you." He says when he arrives, "ugh, it's been five days." I say raising a brow and he shrugs off his shoulder, "the place wasn't fun without you." He says and A feeling of delight rushes through me at what he just said, sometimes I just can't decide if I want to smile or cry, sometimes being all the time.

"Well well y'all did good, you got us a huge donation! Tell me about it." I say smiling as I walk towards the nearest table, he sits down with me, "yesterday, over twenty-five thousand dollars were sent here, I wish you were here when that happened." He says running a hand through his hair as my smile widens, that amount of money is actually very helpful, "did they leave a name?" I ask as I run through my emails, he nods then speaks, "hold on I don't remember...I'll check." He says and brings his phone up, scrolling through it, I take a sip of water, "oh right here, the name is...Adrian knight." He says and I choke on my water.

"Who? Come again." I say still struggling to breathe, "you okay?" He asks as he scans me, "I'm fine, are you sure of the name?" I ask again, "ahh yes, look." He says turning the phone so I can see it, I read the contract and sure enough it's him, I get up to take my bag as I walk away, "where are you going!" He yells over my back, "to give him his fucking money back!"I say with boldness I don't usually feel, which I'm sure I'll regret later.

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I stare at the plate in front of me, a hundred thoughts breaking through my mind, "Layla." Damien's voice pulls me back to reality, I look at him, "yes?" I ask smiling, "are you okay?" He asks and I'm taken aback by the question, Damien isn't the type who normally cares, or...shows it I mean, "oh yes I'm, are you?" I ask staring at him, he sighs and shakes his head.

I can't help but ask about what's wrong, and even though a huge part of me wants to just stop talking, I push that away, he's more important, he talks about how things have been hard for him at work, how Adrian is better and he's getting more clients than him, I rub his back and lean on his shoulder, "it's okay, I love you, you can do this dam, I believe in you." I say softly smiling at him.

He nods and smiles back, leaning in as he plants a kiss on my temple, "love you too babe." He says and motions at my food, "eat some food, gain some weight or shit I feel like I'll crush you the next time I hug you." He says laughing and my fists clench as a result of stopping them from trembling, I let out an awkward laugh and he smiles back, I wonder if he ever notices how uncomfortable his words make me feel sometimes.

He walks away and leaves me on the table, I take my full plate and grab the nearest fork as I empty the untouched food back into the containers and throw the plate in the dishwasher, I let out a breath as I feel my stomach growling from hunger, it's fine though, I  ignore it and jog upstairs, I just need some time alone.

I step into the bathroom, stripping off my clothes, as I let my hair slip free from the tie, it's around shoulder length, and it falls in waves, I've always loved how thick my hair was, I run a hand through it, and see the strands falling in my hand, it hurts it really hurts, but I'm trying to stop, I'm trying.

I take a look at myself in the mirror, I don't think I've ever looked in a mirror and been satisfied, stretch marks are spread over most of my body, I genuinely don't think that my body is attractive, I mean....there's nothing special about it, that's why I cover it most of the time, the more I stare at myself, the more those thoughts eat me alive, the more I hate myself, tears form in my eyes, and then they fall, one over another over another, I can't stop them, and the thought that stays with me all day, is that I wonder if it'll ever be enough, if I'll wake up one day, telling myself to stop, that it's enough, that I'm satisfied, that I'll stop starving myself but deep down, I know that won't happen, at least not anytime soon.

First of all I apologize if what Adrian donated is not a huge amount of money 😭 cause I genuinely don't know hm dollars are considered a lot so we're gonna ignore this

a vote is really appreciated!💌